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what would be the best way to tell your supervisor to stop inquiring about your personal life and mobbing you into opening up? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) by sarah2653@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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my supervisor is an extrovert, whereas I'm an introvert. She feels insulted if I don't share my personal life with her and ridicules me before other coworkers because I separate private and work life and prefer to keep to myself.

I wrote mobbing because that's what it feels to me: a ritual of hers is to always eat together, a time she uses to ask me questions I don't want to answer. I usually answer very vaguely, which is not enough for her. If I eat alone, she'll complaint about why am I being so unfriendly.

She doesn't understand I need time alone to unwind.

She is convinced she is doing me a favor, but the opposite is true. It makes me dislike her even more.

I simply cannot win. It's tiring being blamed and shamed for preferring to read a book instead of talking about dogs or sex.

It makes me want to quit.

I don't know if I go to HR with an issue like this, because they may label me the odd one, the one who's not a teamplayer and use it against me.

Most people are extroverted and react angrily to somebody who keeps to himself and I've been bullied several times for this. Extroverts don't seem to understand that not showing interest in their sexual lives doesn't mean disrespect, but simply that I don't care about it.

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[–] lunarul@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Remember to look into his eyes

I don't know if it's some neurodivergence or if other introverts feel the same way, but that is something I personally find very difficult and uncomfortable and I can't hold eye contact for more than a second or two at a time. What feels natural to me is to look at a person's mouth when they talk.

[–] Mechaguana@programming.dev 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Would it help if i told you that you are staring at meat?

Sure hes a man, or woman, but first and foremost meat.

Sometimes this meat yells, sometimes this meat looks at you.

But lets all keep in mind, ladies and gentlemen, that any interlocutor be it beast or man is just meat.

You probably cooked meat also, just saying.

So take your time admiring the meat, stare in what it thinks it's soul is in, his personal comfort be damned!

Just dont take this advice as an excuse to dehumanise this person of course, as I heard some meats hold a scary skeleton within. But hey, you cant see that most of the time, its meatgavanza for now!

[–] lunarul@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Not sure what that's supposed to help with. I'd be even more uncomfortable if my steak had eyes and made eye contact than when a person does it.