I’ve read through some of the top posts for r/therian. I have a vague understanding of otherkin in general but hadn’t heard of therians in particular. If my kid said they were a furry, I’d be well within my comfort zone. I fuck with furries. But this seems like people who feel they are trans-species and talk about having species dysphoria. I just don’t know what to make of it but I’m also trying to not overreact or let my snap judgements alienate my kid. I assume they feel like they’ve just had to come out to me, which is something I’ve gone out of my way to not make necessary in terms of gender and sexuality stuff. Just didn’t see this coming.

If the worst thing that happens is they enjoy making animal noises and spend more time out in nature, I’m super down. If they start experiencing alienation from their own identity because of this, I’m not sure what I’ll do.

Hey Fam! Hope you're doing well!

Feel free to join us on Matrix: #parenting:genzedong.xyz. Learn more here.

(I've settled for baba instead of papa) (papa is german for dad)

What is Matrix?

Matrix ≈ Discord - tracking + end-to-end encryption (by default)

While not 100% discord, it does support many of the features of discord (text chat, audio chats, video chats). It is also federated, similarly to how Hexbear/lemmy is federated. So, you do not need to have an account on genzedong.xyz to join the channel (see their thread here if you want to register on their server). You can sign up for a matrix.org account and still join. Like email, there are many different apps that can be used with your matrix account, but the official one is Element, this is what I use.

How to join the channel

#parenting:genzedong.xyz is a public channel, so you are free to join from wherever your home server might be (typically matrix.org).

If you have a matrix account, skip to step 2

1. Head to https://app.element.io/ and select "create account"
2. Once your account is created, click the room link above, or in the community sidebar, which takes you to the shared room page.
3. Find "Element" in the "Choose an app to continue" section and select "Continue".
4. The page will attempt to launch Element if you have it installed, and direct you to the room; otherwise, you can select "continue in browser" to open Element in your browser.
5. You will be prompted to join the channel in Element, click join, then you're in!

But why?

Real-time communication can be helpful when you're in the moment. The channel is configured to only show history from the moment you join, so there isn't a massive backlog of messages for someone to comb through the second they join. It's encrypted, and, while that doesn't mean too much when the room is public, it does mean the messages on the server side are secured.

Ultimately, I just want to offer many means of communication for parents here, and Matrix seems good to me.

School is almost out (or is out, depending on where you're at) for summer! How is everyone doing with the heat?

Also I created a Matrix channel on the genzedong instance: #parenting:genzedong.xyz (let me know if the URL works. Still learning matrix)

Forgot to post this yesterday 😅 busy day with the family. Hope y'all had a good long weekend!

Hope your week is good. How's everyone doing?

Kid 1 got this as a gift when they turned 1. They're 3.5 now and we started reading these before bed recently. They're really fun, and scratches my D&D/Role Playing itch. I tend to fall back on my DMing instincts, so a lot of "what do you do next?" Or "do you look/listen for something?" A lot of fun for sure.

Happy Mother's Day comrades!

I am looking for information and anecdotes about children that are about 20 months old and their tendency to throw tantrums.

My nephew has started to become belligerent when it comes to throwing tantrums. For example, he gets a hold of something that we would not like him to hold, then refuse to give it back. Usually we would try to distract him with some other attractive object and sneak the former object while he is not looking. If we even try to gently wrest the object from his grasp, he starts crying really badly. Like really badly. It is a bit terrifying.

Part of me thinks that this behaviour is learnt. He must have noticed this strategy working for him in the past so he has begun to do it more.

On the other hand, children do be throwing tantrums. I also don't want to baselessly entertain the notion of stricter parenting. As a cold, heartless individual I try to be skeptical of approaches like this to counterbalance my biases.

Thoughts and experiences?

I linked to this thread, only because it's what got me thinking about this topic again. Me and my SO talk about phones occasionally, regarding our kids. Neither of them are anywhere close to an age where they might have one. However, as time goes on, we find ourselves so repelled by the idea of the kids having a fully fledged smartphone.

Given the reality that all social media apps are effectively skinner boxes, training you to use them more, the idea of allowing kids on them feels like offering a 10-year-old a cigarette. I have to remind myself that the internet I grew up on is dead and gone. I may have been exposed to some weird ass shit in AOL chat rooms, but there wasn't any kind of algorithmic content feed keeping me itching and scratching.

So far, the only time the oldest uses an iPad is when they use mine, and the only apps they use are Procreate for drawing, and an app that helps kids learn to write letters and words. Watching TV is probably the worst thing we get into at home when it comes to just pure content consumption, but we keep the list of watchable stuff pretty small, and regularly axe shows we feel don't meet our standards when we venture off that list.

I guess this has evolved into a larger discussion about media consumption as I have typed this out, but at the end of the day, that's what's happening on these phones, right?

Some of the books we get from the library can be hit or miss. My SO picked up "Someone Just Like You" by Helen Docherty and David Roberts [ISBN: 1665949589] (among others) this weekend. This is a cool little book. We had only skimmed it before reading it to the kiddo the other night, and it has a nice message. One that got me a little choked up, given current world affairs.

It's about how similar we all are, despite our differences, and is a kind of call-to-action, one that encourages providing aid and care to others in difficult situations. The depiction of that difficult situation near the middle of the book is one of a children's room, with a broken window, and a burning city beyond the window's threshold. The room takes up most of the page, and the window a much smaller portion.

Far from the shallow inclusion story you might find in some kids books. I almost missed the city as I was reading it. A strong image for what is otherwise a book full of charming kids. The art in this book is really great. All the pages are super vibrant and colorful, and every kid is unique, fun, and cute.

What about you? I'm always lost in the stacks, trying to find something new and fun.

Also, I'm interested in knowing if this would be a good reoccurring thread for the sub. Maybe monthly?

Better late then never! Remember, Mothers Day is coming up!

Howdy! Welcome to another week! Hope you all had a good one!

Welcome to the lounge! Hope everyone's week has been good! Can't believe April is almost over...

Bluey S03E50 Surprise! 720p WEB-EN

https://mega.nz/file/AiQ2HboB#BQzkjzESqwVx01hqtYElT6p4v9X9RrLZ4mcDo_OGYDI

https://workupload.com/file/UWtpFdQUXQC

This is it for Season 3. No word of when Season 4 will be, I don't think they've even started it yet, but the producer says it's happening.

Welcome to the lounge!

I'm not crying, you're crying! Be sure to check out last week's episode first!

Bluey S03E49 The Sign 720p WEB-EN

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1AY40gFpXxoSIVONQ4-1Y6ZVrftrzmTJl/view?usp=sharing

https://mega.nz/file/pzZwgY7C#qbmHIReirjkUR2Kju1gQBHCrMDBlBXTM_CBuS5E33JA

https://easyupload.io/669ue1

My foster kiddo's birthday is coming up soon, and we got a REALLY good deal on a PS4 for his birthday. I'm buying him used games to go with the console. I asked him to describe what kind of games he wanted and things he liked in games. He wants a split screen co-op FPS where he's able to hunt for rare loot. He wants a looter shooter that he can play with me. Also odd criteria, but he wants games that I'm good at because it's like "watching a ninja". He explained this, and Borderlands is the only game I can think of that has all of it. He didn't mention Borderlands by name, so it's not like I'd be saying no to anything on his list specifically. I'd settle for a co-op split screen FPS we could play, but there aren't very many of those on PS4.

Here is the issue I'm running into though. On one hand, this child is turning 9. He is just too young for Borderlands. However, this child has also witnessed multiple people die of drug overdoses, watched a million rated R movies with his mom, so censoring things feels weird. Like who am I to censor some middle school grade jokes when he's into morbid things as a result of seeing death his entire life? I'm thinking maybe we just make it a game where I have to play it with him if he wants to play? Any split screen game recommendations for us that may be more age appropriate?

How we doing folks? Hope your week went well!

Bluey S03E48 720p WEB-EN

https://mega.nz/file/IwMwkAQZ#jlxfqxhOmNsIydpzGGwUlkUHEbZ_GUQOtp6ToryxxtE

https://easyupload.io/3t120k

I’m white. My daughter is also white. She’s 3 years old, almost 4.

Up to this age, my approach to teaching her about race has been to focus exclusively on skin color. Meaning, we talk about how people can have all different colors and tones to their skin. Talking about skin color on a spectrum. But always emphasizing that people are all the same and that everyone should be treated the same.

In isolation, this all sounds lib. I of course want to get all into structural and institutional racism et al. But… she’s 3. Up until a few months ago she was still pooping and pissing in a diaper. My thinking is that emphasizing this more lib understanding of race is more age-appropriate now, and we can get into the real stuff a little later on when she has the mental and emotional maturity to handle it (that said, I have told her that the cops aren’t very nice to people who don’t look like us. Whatever, the daycare has pigs come over and talk to the kids even at her age, so fuck em I’m gonna counter that shit now).

Is this the right approach? Is there more I should be doing? If you all have any age-appropriate books on this topic you can recommend, definitely let me know.