Technology

pleasant texture

I'd go with "rubbery".

You forgot to mention that it's watered down. That's what the emulsifier is for, to make the oils in the cheese mix well with the added water. The concept is fine - for some applications - if it were only that, but this is hyper-processed American food we're talking about here. Gotta pad out that ingredient list:

CHEDDAR CHEESE (CULTURED MILK, SALT, ENZYMES), SKIM MILK, MILKFAT, MILK PROTEIN CONCENTRATE, WHEY, CALCIUM PHOSPHATE, SODIUM PHOSPHATE, CONTAINS LESS THAN 2% OF MODIFIED FOOD STARCH, SALT, LACTIC ACID, MILK, SORBIC ACID AS A PRESERVATIVE, OLEORESIN PAPRIKA (COLOR), ENZYMES, CHEESE CULTURE, ANNATTO (COLOR).

The above is the standard Kraft singles ingredient list, and at a glance is the shortest one I saw on their website.

Literally this is why it gets hate. It’s not remotely Cheddar. Real Cheddar is deliberately none of these things. I love a crunchy cheese crystal and a crumbly organic texture. To each their own, but it’s not Cheddar, barely cheese. I’d have it in a burger, but only because so few places will melt real cheese properly. Brie is pretty good in a burger. Is Somerset Brie really Brie? Time for a Frenchman to tell me to gtfo…

I wonder if one of the problems is your comparison of American cheese to what I’m guessing might be American cheddar. I say this because most (and I know there are some niche outliers) American cheddars are pretty awful. It tastes processed, rubbery and bland.

When I, a Brit, lived in the USA for 4 yrs I quickly learned the only good cheddar was the NZ or UK stuff. I say this as someone who has gone through at least 1-3 blocks of various British cheddars a week for almost 40 yrs.

I wonder if you have had imported (not just branded as “English cheddar” before for example? It might blow your mind… but also if American cheddar is all you have know it might not taste all that good - we all have our tastes shaped by our upbringing.

IMHO, it has three purposes:

1. a grilled cheese on cheap white bread with enough butter to guarantee an acid reflux episode
2. melted on Chef Boyardee ravioli
3. on a slice of apple pie

If your Kraft singles are too precious, I think the Dollar Tree brands stray even further from gods light.

88...

Hey if you're near a Tesla storage lot, there probably IS a couple hundred cybertrucks nearby.

Sitting there, having their wheels stolen and rotting since nobody is buying them, but that's still technically nearby.