World News

Good thing we've got so many international allies and are known for being such a stable, reliable economic partner. Now, if you'll excuse me, I haven't read the news in two months and I need to catch up on current events.

Denmark: Did you say "please" even once?

Let me see... since new years you have threatened to annex Greenland, had Musk call our finest astronaut retarded, called our Prime Minister retarded, recently Roger Stone called one of our conservative politicians a sick demented asshole on Twitter when said politician asked for the general secretary of NATO to not joke about Trump and Greenland and... oh yeah, Trump and Vance attacked and insulted our dear friend, President Zelenskyj on world wide TV.

So...... how about no? Oh, I'm sorry: no, thank you.

I would not send a single good egg until Jan 2029.

Ask for 50% mineral rights and a thank you.

The fastest way to have a people turn on it's leaders is for the food supply to be threatened.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if Americans turned on their leaders?

FUCK THAT. Let's see eggs go to $5/each. We need to face the consequences of our collective fucking idiot electoral choices.

Hilarious. The US reaching out to the people they've insulted, threatened or victimized in some way, shape or form and asking them for help. And when they get refused, they'll tell the American people that everyone is being so mean to them.

The Norwegian government will offer eggs, and we will only ask for the state of New York or as we like to call it: Nye Jorvik. The citizens of Nye Jorvik will enjoy all the benefits from a stabile, functioning social democracy.

Kneel down and beg.

The eggs aren't even that much more expensive to produce. The hit has only been about 2%. There's still plenty of eggs. And it's the same with getting free range eggs instead of battery/cage - the increase in production price is pretty small, really.

It comes down to the same thing: the market charging premiums. They charge more for free range because it's 'luxury'. They charge more for organic because it's 'lifestyle'. And they charge more for eggs during US strife because it's 'supply and demand'.

They have the supply. They also have an excuse, and nobody is regulating them. The country doesn't need to buy eggs en masse, it needs to regulate pricing.

Do not help us. This is what we deserve.

Trumpty Dumpty

everything except actually putting the companies responsible in check.

Yeah, good luck with that America after you've insulted and threatened every ally that would sell us eggs.

Dumbasses.

Citizen of the United States here. Don’t. Assume whatever this orange anal fistula offers to pay will in fact not be paid. Assume whatever agreement brokered will immediately be ignored or violated. Assume this pus filled clementine will still try to “take” Greenland.

Let this shithole 3rd world country burn. It asked for fascism in the form of egg prices, let them deal with their egg prices.

Air delivered eggs from another continent, surely they're going to be cheap. If only there were at least two neighboring countries that could be able to send them for cheaper...

Oh, so now the US has pivoted to strongman style diplomacy where you rattle your sabre and then ask for concessions? I've bought a fresh carton of eggs last week, Orange Felon and his tech bro boyfriend can have them projectile delivered straight to their stupid mugs.

Canada here. Our eggs are cheap.

You want em?

Take your trade war agression and shove it up your ass!

You want to take our sovereignty away?

…starve.

I don't know if it helps anyone, but you don't need eggs to survive

Has America considered asking Panama for eggs? Or Gaza?

Implement fucking price controls before you beg for European eggs ffs

Denmark, from who they want to steal Greenland. They are obviously terminally stupid in Washington.

We use the word eggs in German the way yankies use nuts or balls. That said, yes, you can swallow our eggs, dear US government.

Help? Help? What happened to wanting to be a proud independent country that don't need no allies.

"You will become part of the US."

two days later....

"Bro my egg prices are high, can you help a brotha out?"

This is why we HAD allies. Had. To assist with the largesse we consume as Americans. You don’t get to swing your orange dick around at the world, offending and assaulting every ally, and then ask for help.

Ask Canada… oh, wait!

WOMP WOMP WOMP, EH?

No, fuck you.

What does it mean the US has reached out? Individual store chains? State governments? Certainly not Trump.

This is a joke right? Something from the Onion? Why would any country help out Trump now?

I thought the US didn’t need anything from anyone else? Isn’t that what you said?

As a true American, don't help us with eggs, it'l hurt your country in the long run. Let us suffer so we can get our heads out of our asses and purge the nazis.

And they all answered "yes, you can eat our eggs, but not how you would expect"

I would love to see NATO countries (besides the US) band together and say:

”We will come together to support our great ally, so long as she saves herself. Upon the acceptance of President Trump's and Vice President Vance's resignation, we will provide the aid that our friend needs."

Trump could, in fact, be the hero here. He could walk away from the presidency with a win. For added measure, these countries could write lofty and wonderful articles about Trump's selflessness.

We know he won't.

Aside: I'm not saying Mike Johnson would make a good president. But let's take this one thing at a time.