this post was submitted on 15 Apr 2025
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Facepalm

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[–] Fermion@feddit.nl 74 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Hegseth has got to stop leaking his chats.

[–] RestrictedAccount@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

Congratulations!!!!

You win the internet today

[–] Asafum@feddit.nl 67 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I can't help but imagine a table full of people holding their glasses up to cheer and one person upside down with their bare ass in the air lol

[–] Gott@lemmy.dbzer0.com 26 points 2 months ago

Not just a bare ass, but a bare ass with either a beer bong or a turkey baster inserted into it.

[–] TheAlbatross@lemmy.blahaj.zone 48 points 2 months ago (2 children)

There's something extra fun about this post in that alcohol taken anally is far more effective since it bypasses the digestive tract and gets absorbed directly into the blood stream from the colon. Like 2 oz vodka mixed with 4 oz lubricant shot up in an enema will have you SMASHED. So having a few glasses of wine put up there will make that a very memorable Thanksgiving.

[–] Jimbabwe@lemmy.world 32 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Memorable for everyone else, yeah.

[–] TheAlbatross@lemmy.blahaj.zone 16 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Ohhhhh yeah.

Had a fling with someone who was into butt chugging for a bit. To not get inappropriately wasted, they'd have 2 oz of wine for an entire evening. This would put them at just past tipsy and they were like 6 ft tall, for reference.

[–] Bobby_shmurda@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

I need to hear more about this person.

[–] TheAlbatross@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

They were a phenomenal fencer in their heyday and continue to make just the most amazing cookies.

[–] Bobby_shmurda@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 months ago

Sounds like a person of renaissance, a true warrior poet.

[–] jqubed@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago

I remember a case a few years ago where a woman was charged with manslaughter or something similar in the death of her husband. He wasn’t supposed to have alcohol at all for medical reasons but really wanted it. At his request she gave him an alcohol enema which killed him. IIRC they had been warned specifically against doing that, which was part of why she was charged.

[–] swab148@lemm.ee 27 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Since no one's answered the question, yes it would show up on a test.

[–] Raiderkev@lemmy.world 13 points 2 months ago (2 children)

As long as it doesn't kill you because you are bypassing your liver and stomach that way and it'd be super easy to overdo it.

[–] Mustakrakish@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

"Just a few glasses" with no hint of irony

[–] swab148@lemm.ee 5 points 2 months ago

That was a segment on "1,000 Ways to Die"

[–] whyNotSquirrel@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 months ago (2 children)

But not the breath analyser right? Do they use analanalyser, or just bloodtest?

[–] rektdeckard@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The breathalyzer tests the alcohol in the breath. An analyzer tests it...well I'll let you figure that out.

[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

What a dimwit whoever named yzers for your bum like that.

[–] hperrin@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It would show up on a breathalyzer. It doesn't measure what you drank, but rather what's in your blood.

[–] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 22 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Found Kavanaugh's alt account!

[–] The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world 23 points 2 months ago (1 children)

One day you're just a normal guy, then - BOOF - you're on the supreme court.

[–] whyNotSquirrel@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 months ago

And if you don't remember why, you should unplug your butt

[–] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 19 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)
[–] entwine413@lemm.ee 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

But they really only test for it if they think you're drinking at work

[–] AFKBRBChocolate@lemmy.world 14 points 2 months ago

It's r/probation. If he got a DUI or something, he wouldn't be allowed to drink, and they do random testing.

[–] hperrin@lemmy.world 18 points 2 months ago (1 children)

To answer this guy's question, yes, it would show up, because the alcohol is present in your blood, and thus, your pee.

[–] FooBarrington@lemmy.world 17 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Actually it's not normal to have blood in your pee

[–] Breezy@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Naw, i think thats just you.

[–] FooBarrington@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Ah, you're right, must have been a blockage in the pee tube. I picked around with a needle in there, and now I also get blood. Thanks!

[–] Breezy@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

Always glad to help someone increase their blood flow!

[–] BeMoreCareful@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago

The poop hole loophole only goes so far.

[–] hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 2 months ago

I wonder which option their family would prefer...

[–] nesc@lemmy.cafe 5 points 2 months ago
[–] qyron@sopuli.xyz 3 points 2 months ago

This is a complete new level of stupid.

[–] MrSulu@lemmy.ml 3 points 2 months ago

The science says that for it to work, you need two Turkey drumsticks in first to soak up the alcohol quickly afterwards. Even better with mash, carrots and stuffing

[–] hanrahan@slrpnk.net 2 points 2 months ago

Im suprosed wine enemas aren't a recommended cure for Measles by the new and improved health department.