this post was submitted on 24 May 2025
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[–] theangryseal@lemmy.world 24 points 1 hour ago (3 children)

I don’t understand how these kids get caught. They gotta be really slow or something.

I was caught 0 times as a teenager. My mom never found my porn.

My brother was caught a few times. My cousin was caught in the damn car on a family vacation with OTHER PEOPLE IN THE CAR just yanking his noodle under a blanket.

I was so cautious as a kid. I guess because I was caught and thoroughly shamed when I was about 4 years old. Maybe that’s why I never got caught when I was old enough for it to matter. That shame gave me a lifelong lesson.

I had a motion detecting toy dinosaur at the bottom of the stairs. When someone approached the stairs it would go, “raaaaaawr, raaaaaawr” and I’d be sitting at the foot of the bed reading a book by the time someone got upstairs.

If they suspected anything, didn’t matter. I was reading.

When I got high speed internet (as it was called in those days) I threw out the tapes and magazines. I had a separate hard drive I’d plug into my computer juuuuuust in case, and since I was always messing with and tearing into my computer, my mom never found anything. That drive had Linux, my mom was scared of Linux.

Now that I think about it, holy shit they fucked me up haha.

When they caught me as a little guy my mom said, “oh shamy, shamy.” And my dad said, “you keep messing with that thing and it’ll fall off and you’ll turn into a girl.” They spent the whole day giving me that, “oh you shameful creature” look.

Haha, man. Wow.

Yeah, maybe my people just messed me up.

[–] Xiflado@lemmy.world 2 points 17 minutes ago

Did you place the toy downstairs before wanking or was it always there?

[–] SkyeStarfall@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 18 minutes ago

"you keep messing with that thing and it'll fall off and you'll turn into a girl"

On one hand, fucking horrible thing to say on a child

On the other.. probably would not have the effect they would intend on a certin chunk of the population lmao

[–] quant@leminal.space 3 points 32 minutes ago

You had enough motivation and technical knowledge, that's why. Most people don't even bother having separate storage with dual booting.

[–] tartarin@lemm.ee 1 points 14 minutes ago
[–] R3D4CT3D@midwest.social 1 points 38 minutes ago

teens aren’t aware or private browsing?

[–] Puzzlehead@reddthat.com 21 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

Wouldn't he have to put in a fake birth date if it asked him to verify his age?

[–] pyre@lemmy.world 31 points 3 hours ago (3 children)

conservatives are pushing for full ID submission.

[–] killerscene@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 45 minutes ago

i had left my VPN on in a location in the US and was shocked that i had to enter in ID to visit a sire.

i dont even have to give my ID to government websites who the hell is doung that

[–] DeathsEmbrace@lemm.ee 8 points 2 hours ago

Those closeted gays wanting to see us send pics...

[–] tooLikeTheNope@lemmy.ml 4 points 2 hours ago

1st world problems

[–] ipkpjersi@lemmy.ml 73 points 7 hours ago

Yeah, I can imagine having a mother like that would make it so that you can't enjoy life, damn.

[–] madjo@feddit.nl 56 points 7 hours ago (5 children)

His first name starts with a Q?! That poor kid, imagine getting your porn preference blasted into the news by your mom and then you also have a Q in your name. Mom should be sued for child abuse

[–] Fontasia@feddit.nl 5 points 58 minutes ago

Mum wanted to make it everyone else's problem that she can't have a frank discussion about sex with her own son so probably been making poor judgements all the way through

[–] Vanth@reddthat.com 15 points 3 hours ago

I hope those aren't his real initials because it seems like there's more than enough information to identify him between the article and complaint filing. Poor kid doesn't deserve to be dragged into this.

[–] pyre@lemmy.world 2 points 3 hours ago

those are not hid initials; he was named after the code.

[–] thatsTheCatch@lemmy.nz 15 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

Quiglet Cumberfungle.

Poor bastard.

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 18 points 7 hours ago (2 children)

I don't know why they bother censoring it we all know he's called Quentin.

[–] turtlesareneat@discuss.online 13 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

In the old world maybe. Today's tragedeigh naming means it could be anything. Qristofer. Enjoy.

[–] baines@lemmy.cafe 3 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

if i ever change my name i am stealing this

[–] theangryseal@lemmy.world 1 points 1 hour ago

Tragedaigh Qristofer Shaughn Beighns

Please. It’s beautiful!

[–] fatalicus@lemmy.world 14 points 6 hours ago (2 children)
[–] egonallanon@lemm.ee 7 points 5 hours ago (2 children)
[–] anachrohack@lemmy.world 5 points 2 hours ago

Quesadilla 🤌

[–] merrickal@lemmy.world 5 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

For some reason “Quinton” comes to mind. No idea if that’s actually a name or something my brain came up.

It's an actual name, not common these days tho.

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[–] treadful@lemmy.zip 80 points 8 hours ago (5 children)

Imagine gooning so hard that your mom makes you famous.

[–] intheformbelow@lemmy.world 39 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

She just didn't want him to jerk off to her on chaturbate. She performs there regularly as "Giantmagacnt"

[–] Rakonat@lemmy.world 24 points 7 hours ago

I want to believe this is satire but fuck I will not be fact checking.

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