this post was submitted on 05 Jun 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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[–] Bosht@lemmy.world 6 points 6 days ago

I used to have the habit of sending 'kk' instead of 'ok'. Boss was a black woman. One day she messaged me and in response I put one too many ks....so 'kkk'. I profusely apologized and she laughed it off but yeah, that was the end of me doing that, haha.

[–] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 43 points 1 week ago (17 children)

Assuming a qwerty keyboard, this didn't happen

[–] carotte@lemmy.blahaj.zone 96 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

could have happened on a canadian french qwerty keyboard: ! is shift-1, and " is shift-2

Picture of a canadian french QWERTY keyboard, centered on the 1 and 2 keys. The 1 key as the exclamation mark above the 1, and the 2 key has the quotation mark above the 2.

this could have happened on other layouts too, probably

[–] unexposedhazard@discuss.tchncs.de 41 points 1 week ago (1 children)

German qwertz is the same in that regard

[–] brbposting@sh.itjust.works 19 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] unexposedhazard@discuss.tchncs.de 17 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (6 children)

Wait till you see AZERTY (French) They need to use ZQSD for gaming lmao

[–] RobotFK@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

A fate fitting for being fr*nch /s

[–] DacoTaco@lemmy.world 1 points 6 days ago

Im not french and we still use this piece of shit. Thanks belgium.

Also, us/international qwerty isnt that great either imo. Uk qwerty is better

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[–] SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Also in Dvorak “ is below !

[–] trash@leminal.space 3 points 6 days ago

As a Dvorak typist, I have done this.

[–] rockerface@lemm.ee 6 points 1 week ago

Cyrillic too

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 33 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

It may have not been a typo in the sense they hit the wrong key attempting to type an exclamation point, but a Freudian slip of their mind while typing that caused them to type the quotation mark.

Like if you were to look at Venus and want to say "Venus is bright tonight" but instead say "My penis is pretty big." It's a really common mistake.

[–] tomi000@lemmy.world 24 points 1 week ago (3 children)

On a German keyboard, I think ! Is Shift-1 and " is Shift-2, but we measure in cm so the message wouldnt make sense

[–] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

I chuckled :p

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[–] toddestan@lemmy.world 15 points 1 week ago

It works out for Dvorak.

[–] sicarius@lemmy.world 14 points 1 week ago (2 children)

UK keyboards have the " and the @ symbols reversed from the US layout.
And we mix and match our units of measurement. So
milk = liters.
Beer = pints.
Distance = miles (if driving).
Distance = km if running or cycling.
Distance = inches if penis

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[–] HK65@sopuli.xyz 10 points 1 week ago

Depends on the layout. My QWERTZ has ! on shift-4 and " on shift-2.

Lots of bilingual peeps have multiple layouts on hot-swap.

[–] FelixCress@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago

Eh? On my keyboard " and ! are next to each other.

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[–] remon@ani.social 39 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Could have been avoided by using metric.

[–] frezik@midwest.social 15 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Side note: if you say you're 6.5" long, it sounds like you care too much about that extra half inch. If you say you're 17cm, that's just how long you are.

You're welcome, penis owners.

[–] Venus_Ziegenfalle@feddit.org 7 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] MintyFresh@lemmy.world 1 points 6 days ago
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[–] Gaxsun@lemmy.zip 35 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I'm sorry, is this some sort of imperial joke I'm too metric to understand?

[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 24 points 1 week ago

Yes. He's offering his 15 cm

Roughly the size of an average penis. Makes it seem like he just offered to give her the "D".

Which is a trip right to HR.

[–] frankenswine@lemmy.world 34 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] jws_shadotak@sh.itjust.works 34 points 1 week ago (3 children)
[–] AlpacaChariot@lemmy.world 34 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Yes but only for 6 seconds

[–] tourist@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago

" also means seconds. 1h23m45s = 1h23’45”. Same for subdivisions of degrees, 12°34'56"N, which are actually also called minutes and seconds.

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[–] jim3692@discuss.online 23 points 1 week ago

Could have avoided "!" altogether, and send "For you I have 720"

[–] Chip_Rat@lemmy.world 18 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I (mid 30s woman) am boss and I txtd one of my guys who isn't around very often (he works a different shift basically, sometimes we overlap, usually we don't)

"Hey 60 year old married man when you have a minute. Swing by my office, I've got something for you."

I had a company gift to give him.

Auto complete decided the lips emoji was the best ending to my TXT. You know, the sexy red kissy lips.

I NEVER use that emoji. I never use emojis, when I told this story to other workers who I TXT regularly they were like "you yeah write out jazz hands or *sparkle emoji"

But my phone knew what that innocent TXT needed. Awkward, potentially work relationship ruining lips.

[–] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 7 points 6 days ago (1 children)

This is why I just...hate touch screen keyboards. T9 never made that kind of editorial decision, and a physical QWERTY keyboard with no software correction running at all didn't either.

[–] pineapplelover@lemm.ee 3 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I think the problem is you hate autocorrect and not the keyboard itself. I don't have autocorrect on mine and it's fine

[–] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 1 points 5 days ago (1 children)

touch boards are so shit they barely work wothout assistance.

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 4 days ago

it sounds like you just can't use a touch keyboard, most people use them just fine, and personally i type reasonably quickly with the odd mistake here and there.

[–] Melatonin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 1 week ago (4 children)

On my keyboard, those keys are pretty far apart

[–] dee_dubs@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

Different keyboard layouts. The big difference between UK and US layouts tends to be swapping the " and @ symbols, so on a UK keyboard the ! is shift+1 and the " is shift+2.

[–] frezik@midwest.social 5 points 1 week ago

Maybe not on mobile keyboards? Giving the benefit of a doubt here.

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[–] BuboScandiacus@mander.xyz 12 points 1 week ago

Ask for 5' , get 6"

[–] AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 9 points 1 week ago

That makes more sense than 12 hours

[–] Kazumara@discuss.tchncs.de 9 points 1 week ago

6 arc seconds, not a very well rounded individual

[–] chiliedogg@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

At the equator, that's like 600 feet.

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