So you could have donated that money to a food bank or homeless shelter and gotten a tax break. Or you could have just kept it and invested in dividend paying stock, but instead you spent it on a watch that tells you the same time as my $20 watch?

Grabs machete
Thanks for showing me where to find it. /j

Good for you, why should I care?

Fool and his money.

When I was at school, the kids would say, "my dad's shed is bigger than your dad's shed". But that was a long time ago, and we each had a child's view of the world. Most of us grew up.

Either dishonest affirmation or "That's nice, buddy" and touch his shoulder.

With people you might need later it's the first option, the second if you want to piss off narcissists.

seems like a giant waste of money when you have phone that has the time on it.

A classic that always makes people like this angry is the good ole, "Anyways, [Something you are casually going to do today or did yesterday]- " and a hand wave to dismiss the statement.

It infuriates them lol

My car has an analog clock face too.

That's cool, but MY watch has a Tomagachi living in it.

I can read digital clocks faster.

The classic "OK boomer" still gets them angry, if that's what you're after

"that's a lot of money for such an ugly watch."

Imagine not being able to tell the time by just looking up

"I don't get my happiness from material worth."

Sounds like you got ripped off

Look of confusion "Does...does that make you happy?"

-or-

"Was it worth it?"

“What kinda mileage does it get?”

“Cool, I went to the bar with my friends last night. What did you do?”

“Can you get me some more water?”

Heh, amateur hour. Let me show you my watch.

"How fast does it do 0-60?"

Nice.

Serious answer:

That's cool. What makes it special?

Sometimes people talk about how expensive something they own is simply because they're proud that they could afford it and even when they're being tone-deaf, there's no benefit to getting offended when you could just move the conversation along instead. (Although you might have to listen to them talk about watches.) If they were trying to brag, now they're stuck trying to explain why the watch is actually worth what they paid and you're the one judging them.

Cars (and watches) aren't so expensive that a middle-class person can't plausibly already own the one he would buy even if money was unlimited. You can act like that's true about you. My status-conscious former mother in law was bothered by the fact that I owned an old car, but when she would bring it up I would just say "I really like the 2008 model." She couldn't argue with that.

"Interesting, may I see?" And when they hold their wrist up to you, inspect it closely, then lick it, make some faces like a wine connoisseur, shake your head and say :"It's fake" turn around and disengage.

Can you go careening around twisty mountain roads with the top down with a 6 speed manual stick with that watch? No? I'll take my Miata any day. Good luck with your time keeping.

"I don't have a car"

"Ok?"

"that's so sad"

But realistically probably nothing, someone like that isn't going to care enough about what you think to be affected by what you say.

"what?"

"I'm sorry I didn't catch that"

"one more time?"

"ok. thanks for letting me know."

“Ok”

Has this one done it? or how many such watches in do you get to be happy?

If you need to point out the watch and explain its value, you've already lost.

I think the really wealthy old-money people would never say such a thing. Because such a thing just wouldn't occur to them. And if someone said that to them, they'd just kind of smile and nod the same way they would to a toddler. Maybe say "Ah, yes, very good." So that's probably the best response.

But if I were writing a screenplay and had to come up with a one-liner I'd probably go with, "Just goes to show you can't buy class."

"It's certainly a nice looking piece of jewelry"