Edit: of course this is satire. The power of the reading comprehension devil grows stronger every day π’
4 blocks is walkable distance. Build 20 houses then leave space for a park and a stores. It doesn't take a genius!
this post was submitted on 12 Jun 2025
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No, it takes someone who hasn't sold their soul.
Satire and on point.
Walking is alien to the vast majority of suburbanites and rural people. Walking ~6 miles round trip is a little over 2 hours at a modest pace.
Where are the bike lanes? Is this 1950?
Sidewalks check! β
don't take them for granted in the States
"Why does everyone want to live in pre-existing postwar suburbs? what is the magical x factor that makes people want them?? "
I think it is a few things and mostly centered on raising a family. I also think its lame but these are the reasons as I see them.
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They tend to have good schools
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They have front/back yards for children to play
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The buildings are physically separated so the chance you hear your neighbors is low
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The neighborhoods are much more quite
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The neighborhoods have low crime
....
Did i really need to add an /s? I thought the quotation marks were a clear enough indicator.
People want older suburbs because they're planned to be walkable
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Modern house features
Too many people dont recognize satire.
Considering reality do you blame them? This is hardly satire, just sarcastic pointing out (US) reality.
Yea. The Onion has been out-satired by reality lately, I'll give you that.
Why don't the just build a new liquor store in the middle of the new houses? That solves it all
Not a strong example of walkable communities, it's quite pathetic in fact. Is this satire?
I think it has to be satire.
If it's not satire, America has apparently regressed to a median state of "mentally challenged".
I'm gonna have to keep saying this until it becomes common knowledge:
Yes.
You are basically correct, yes.
~30% of adult Americans are functionally illiterate, 2nd grade or worse reading/writing/vocabulary skills.
The mean, average American has between a 5th and 6th grade literacy level.
Despite the fact that almost 40% of US Adults have a Bachelor's Degree or better... less than 10% can critically compare and contrast multiple news articles about the same topic.
We are very, very stupid, compared to any country with anywhere near the same GDP per capita.
~30% of Americans are functionality illiterate, 2nd grade or worse reading level.
First of all, you're a little high. It's only ~21% of Americans who are functionally illiterate. Source
Second, the thing people forget about that statistic is it's more or less in line with European countries like Germany, England. And we have better literacy rates than countries like Ireland, France, or Spain. Source
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hi European here!
what the fuck?
i'm here complaining how it's hard to walk to a big shopping mall or an ikea and you're out there without even a small grocery store around most corners? how do you lot do that? i'd seriously just starve to death if i couldn't get up, walk for 5min, and buy food for a whole meal (or a frozen pizza)
As an American I need you to understand that what you're saying sounds like a deep parody here. We have some major cities that are comfortable to live in without a car, but they're few and far between.
To us a grocery store is a place you go to rather than swing by real quick. Its changing in some cities, and I've even lived in a suburb with walkable groceries, but its really not the norm.
o_ o
i have no words honestly. i wasn't even talking about cities, so far all European cities i've visited were walkable, i was thinking mid size towns and even villages. Basically if your place of residence can't be missed if you blink as you drive by there's probably at least a grocery store in it, and more frequent a general store with most basics you'd need in a day-to-day life next to groceries
We drive
Everywhere
In a way that can't really be described to Europeans. If you live in a suburban area, people think you're weird if you do anything other than use your car to get anywhere for any reason. Almost everywhere in the US is designed around the idea that you have a car and you use it every day.
This is about my city:
And it's absolutely true. Our buses are mostly useful for driving to a Park & Ride/Transit Center and then to work and back. That's about it.
Oh yeah I can confirk Columbus is a fucking nightmare for bus transit. Its kinda bikable in some parts, and by that I mean possibly safer than Kyiv. But I'll say this about it, its definitely better than a lot of other places in America. I will never understand its resistance to light rail.
There are parts of America that are reasonable. Cities like New York, D.C., and Seattle have people who can afford a car choosing not to own one. But then you've got places like Houston and most small cities where even Columbus looks walkable.
Now depending on context from how old that post is, it's really saying something.
2023, so yeah
This does exist in major US cities, especially the older (by US standards) ones. I'm in San Francisco, in a "good" neighborhood, and restaurants, groceries, bars, and multiple forms of public transit are all a short walk away. This is very different in car centric suburbs/cities though.
The contrast between eg Manhattan and Los Angeles is wild. First time in LA I went out walking, looking for a restaurant. The footpath vanished and suddenly I was on the edge of what seemed like a freeway. Relatives in Santa Monica were horrified to learn that I had taken a bus from my hotel downtown to visit them (it was perfectly fine).
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When I played The Sims 2, the first thing I'd do is create a small public lot where everyone could get all their needs met and buy food and a cell phone (since starting characters didn't have one). There were some oddities, since Sims get dirty quickly, I'd replace sinks with showers, and would make sure coffee was available everywhere.
Eventually, sims could walk from their home, rather than investing in a garage and a car or taking a cab.
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Ah yes, they can walk to (checks notes) a gas station. Makes sense.
I believe he might be doing a comedy
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Every community is walkable if you walk enough.
Sidewalks would be neat though.
No kidding. I was on a bike ride yesterday through some areas where entire subdivisions, in fairly medium/high class neighbourhoods, had no sidewalks. Retired folks were taking their nightly stroll on the side of the road. I guess kids don't get to play outside there, either.
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This has clearly got to be satire, but the issue with "walkable communities" is the zoning. You need commerce close to those houses - a coffee shop, a bakery, small supermarket, dry cleaner, small doctor's office, a couple of restaurants, etc.
Not a huge strip of stores, just a few every other block.
Ditch the school buses, and instead create actual bus routes that the kids, but also everyone else, can hop on and off to get around.
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America is such a living hell that like I don't even want to participate in a revolution. It's just going to be a libturd or right-wing-hog revolution anyways. I really think a lot of my social ills, anxiety and depression just comes from the world I live in. I truly believe I am a product of my environment. I would leave the United States in a heartbeat with just the clothes on my back. The only time I've ever been happy is when I was able to commute on my bicycle. Ever since COVID, people have been driving like fucking jackasses. And now I live in an area that I can't ride my bike no more. I have never been so depressed in my whole fucking miserable life. Like a scientist, I want to see if it's me or my environment. I think America causes physical and mental illness. I sometimes think if it were up to me and I wasn't allowed to leave the United States, but I could die in a nuclear explosion and just completely wipe off USA from the face of the earth. I say to myself, I would push that fucking button for future generations, for the world. The world is capitalistic and the Yankee has a lot of leverage, a lot of places in Europe start adopting the Yankee way. It terrifies me, knowing that American culture like the disease that it is Spreads like a plus-filled rash. I am very unhappy. These feelings compile over time. And you're in such agony. You try to figure out why. And then eventually it clicks. America is a piece of shit.
You can move out of America, try. Iβm an American living abroad for decades now, and left with nearly zero cash and made a great life abroad.
Plot twist though, everywhere still has problems, just different ones, and the USβ bullcrap affects everyone everywhere including you no matter where you are. (Have why I still care and pay attention to it).
On the subject of this post, I live in a super walkable city, Shanghai, and do everything by bike (amazing, world class bike lanes), walking, subway, taxi, bus etc. and donβt have or need a car, itβs awesome.
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