The Onion is usually good, but this headline is perfection. π€
this post was submitted on 25 Jun 2025
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My wifeβs niece got hitched in a catholic high mass. It was three hours long. I could have used one of these.
My buddyβs wedding was a 15 minute ceremony in a nice theatre followed immediately by the reception in the same room where we all got trashed. Perfection.
A theater is a great idea. Why don't more people have weddings at one?
I would have just gotten up to leave. I'm not ruining my bladder cuz you wanna put a ring on it.
I'm not ruining my bladder
And, to be clear, it is possible to do just that, although it is unlikely to happen from just once.
e: Also, it can give you a UTI, which is much more likely and sucks.
RIP Tycho Brahe
Ugh why do people do that? It's even worse when you are kid who was raised irreligious. Do they think everyone they know is Catholic?
I'm not religious, but I understand that a wedding is very important in some religions. Catholics for example consider it a sacrament. It's not about their guests, it's about the couple and if religion is important to them they should be able to have that included. You can just not go if you don't want to. It's about supporting them and their journey together. It's not about the attendees being religious.
It'd be like going to a vegetarians wedding and being upset they didn't offer meat dishes. It's their wedding and their views. If there's any day where they should be able to subject people to them (for lack of a better phrase) it's their wedding day.
But you can absolutely have a Catholic wedding without mass or communion. I've been to plenty of them. Sure, no one is making you go but you'd look like a dick if that was the reason why you didn't. And sure, it's their "special day" but obviously they want to share that day with friends and family, otherwise they wouldn't be having a wedding. To put people through some bullshit like this is just selfish and inconsiderate imo.
If there is no meat at a vegetarian's wedding there is still food. My brother had no alcohol at his reception but there was still a party. It was still fun to be a part of it. Forcing people to sit through three hours of church if they want to be at your wedding is inconsiderate.
Well yeah. But even the wedding mass is usually about 1 hour long. Whoever decided for a 3hr one really is inconsiderate.
Yeah, my wife is Catholic; we had two options for wedding. The 1 hour ceremony, or the 40 minute ceremony (I think the difference is serving communion). That was it. I don't think we could have gotten a 3 hour ceremony even if we'd wanted it; they need the church for other things.
As someone who hasn't gone to mass in forty years, how long is it usually? I imagine a hundred and fifty people taking communion would take a long time just by itself.
I mean where I live it's around 1 hour. Chrismtas and easter can go up to 1,5hr just because of the added stuff. But yeah even wedding mass is usually around 1 hour. Depends on the person holding it.
I alao juat remembered I have been to a couple catholic and orthodox wedding masses. All were about 1hr long.
That's definitely more reasonable, albeit dull for someone nonreligious. Maybe OP was exaggerating or it was just an extreme case.
Forcing non-Catholics to do the ritual is very amusing though.
Stand up, kneel, sit down, stand up, kneel, sit down...
It's like going to the gym but there's alcohol.
I mean there is no alcohol.
Lol. Don't forget the call and response and buff Jesus dead lifting his cross.
Edit: To be clear, not Korean buff Jesus, but normal buff Jesus.
I had to look up Korean buff Jesus. European buff Jesus has nothing on that guy.
Someone said at the bad place that he died for our gains, lol.
Why do you care so much about people you think are dicks thinking you're a dick? Just don't go. If you care about their opinion, talk with them. Otherwise it seems you're not overly fond of them, and they'd probably not miss you.
The wedding is about the couple, not about you.
I guess I just disagree with that idea. I feel like it should a shared experience. I definitely thought about making it fun for my friends and family when I got married. I wanted them to celebrate with me, not at me.
I think you are confusing the wedding for the reception. Both are, to some extent, also about the gathering of friends and family, but IMO for the wedding, the guests are there to witness. The reception tilts more towards the guests who are their to celebrate with the couple.
If you are inviting people to them then I see them as one in the same. If you just need witnesses you can bring some when you meet with the priest and not force a hundred people to go to mass for three hours for your own fancy. I think that is selfish.
Seems kind of selfish to expect people to accommodate your desires for their event. You can always just not go. If you really care about the people, talk with them about it. Otherwise stop acting like everyone has to do things the way you prefer.
Are you helping to pay for the wedding? Helping with setup/teardown? Investing anything other than a few hours of boredom?
You're there for them, it can be shared, but it's about them sharing with you, not you all sharing together.
Thereβs nowhere to pee in a rich manβs house except his face.
"Find the bathroom all right?"
"Uh...yeeeeah."
When the ceremony is over, soak the groom
I love it
Bezos brand diapers: employee rated!
This is more for trump like actions, but he invited a trump to the wedding and it's relevant.
Bezos, you have now been awarded the Golden Diaper.
Yellow diamonds look like peepee