this post was submitted on 28 Jun 2025
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Dad Jokes

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This is a community for sharing those cheesy “dad” jokes that invoke an eye roll or chuckle.

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Ivan was born in Russia. His first job as a young man was cutting logs in the northern forests. The mosquitos plagued him. The work was brutal, but Ivan survived because he was a strong many and used to hardships. Then he went to the mines, slaving for hours in dim tunnels, moving tons of rocks. The air was foul and the heat was intense, but Ivan survived because he was a strong man and used to hardships. Finally, in search of cleaner air, he applied to the navy. On his first day, he was sent to the crows nest as a lookout. Sadly, a huge gust of wind knocked him from his perch and sent him tumbling to the deck, but Ivan survived because he was a strong man and used to hard ships.

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[–] jordanlund@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)

A moth goes into a podiatrist’s office, and the podiatrist says, “What seems to be the problem, moth?”

The moth says “What’s the problem? Where do I begin, man? I go to work for Gregory Illinivich, and all day long I work. Honestly doc, I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore. I don’t even know if Gregory Illinivich knows. He only knows that he has power over me, and that seems to bring him happiness.

But I don’t know, I wake up in a malaise, and I walk here and there… at night I…I sometimes wake up and I turn to some old lady in my bed that’s on my arm. A lady that I once loved, doc. I don’t know where to turn to.

My youngest, Alexendria, she fell in the…in the cold of last year. The cold took her down, as it did many of us. And my other boy, and this is the hardest pill to swallow, doc.

My other boy, Gregarro Ivinalititavitch… I no longer love him. As much as it pains me to say, when I look in his eyes, all I see is the same cowardice that I… that I catch when I take a glimpse of my own face in the mirror.

If only I wasn’t such a coward, then perhaps…perhaps I could bring myself to reach over to that cocked and loaded gun that lays on the bedside behind me and end this hellish facade once and for all…

Doc, sometimes I feel like a spider, even though I’m a moth, just barely hanging on to my web with an everlasting fire underneath me. I’m not feeling good.

And so the doctor says, “Moth, man, you’re troubled. But you should be seeing a psychiatrist. Why on earth did you come here?”

And the moth says, “‘Cause the light was on."

[–] everett@lemmy.ml 3 points 2 days ago

SpoilerShaggy dad story