this post was submitted on 06 Dec 2023
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Technology

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[–] joshuanozzi@lemmy.ml 96 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Early, undocumented, mass implantation in human subjects WOULD explain some of the fanboyism of late…

[–] floofloof@lemmy.ca 36 points 11 months ago (1 children)

It would explain some of Elon Musk's weird twitchy body language too. But there are other possible explanations.

[–] RickyRigatoni@lemmy.ml 47 points 11 months ago (2 children)

There is no way that dude isn't on drugs 24/7.

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I would probably be on drugs 24/7 too if I had unlimited resources and no way to go broke from my actions.

[–] ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Heroin has entered the chat

Did someone say they want drugs 24/7? I can help with that.

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Go home heroin, nobody wants you here!

[–] ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Fine, I will go somewhere where I am appreciated.

Heroin has left the chat

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago

*Anticorp slaps Heroin with a large trout.

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[–] RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago

Neurolink = brain stapling?

[–] mdd@lemm.ee 86 points 11 months ago

If the IEEE (electrical engineering society) is saying something it must be really bad. They rarely if ever get involved in things like this.

[–] capital@lemmy.world 76 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Neuralink announced in September that it was recruiting volunteers for its human study. Thousands of people have reportedly signed up to receive the brain implant.

Welp…

[–] CrabAndBroom@lemmy.ml 42 points 11 months ago

Darwinism in action I guess...

[–] floofloof@lemmy.ca 31 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Why do they want it? What does it actually do?

[–] mriguy@lemmy.world 45 points 11 months ago

Kills you painfully with a brain infection, I think. I don’t really see the appeal.

[–] glimse@lemmy.world 24 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Neuralink's device has a chip that processes and transmits neural signals that could be transmitted to devices like a computer or a phone.

The company hopes that a person would potentially be able to control a mouse, keyboard or other computer functions like text messaging with their thoughts.

"First @Neuralink product will enable someone with paralysis to use a smartphone with their mind faster than someone using thumbs," Musk said in April 2021

https://www.reuters.com/technology/what-does-elon-musks-brain-chip-company-neuralink-do-2022-12-05/

[–] RickyRigatoni@lemmy.ml 27 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Neuralink’s device has a chip that processes and transmits neural signals that could be transmitted to devices like a computer or a phone.

Haven't we already been able to do that with non-invasive EKG sensors strapped to the temples before?

[–] tryptaminev@feddit.de 9 points 11 months ago

yeah, but do you want to have a small ekg device around your head, when daddy elon could be linked up directly to your brain?

[–] aniki@lemm.ee 4 points 11 months ago

There's consumer level transcranial magnetic stimulation kits you can get.

[–] Sanctus@lemmy.world 16 points 11 months ago (2 children)

So are these thousands of people disabled? Because that would be the silver lining. I dont think the trials will go well, but I mean thats how desperate these people are. And at least the tech is being worked in some form. But the siccest shit comes out of the worst assholes.

[–] glimse@lemmy.world 22 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I'd imagine most of the people signing up haven't actually looked into it and are envisioning Matrix shit or something. Like the thousands of people who signed up for Mars One

[–] Lodespawn@aussie.zone 5 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Matrix shit? Like being forced to be a drone in a monotonous VR world while their bodies are harvested for energy until they fail? Doesn't really seem like an aspirational situation but I guess there must be a few Cyphers out there ..

[–] glimse@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago

I meant like downloading kung fu knowledge to your brain

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[–] PrinceWith999Enemies@lemmy.world 18 points 11 months ago

No. This kind of thing is being worked on by legitimate academic neuroscientists at places like Stanford. They abide by a code of medical and scientific ethics. That’s where this kind of thing is going to come from.

They’re not going to come from some guy who killed a $44B company by making the stupidest move possible at every decision branch.

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)

It probably could do those things, but instead it'll harvest your thoughts to send advertising keywords to Twitter, and play unskippable ads directly inside of your brain.

[–] glimse@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I've always wanted to give corporations access to my thoughts

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Don't forget to pay your monthly subscription, or you'll wake up and discover they've turned off your visual cortex rendering you blind until you bring your payment account up to date, plus pay a $47 late fee.

[–] PrinceWith999Enemies@lemmy.world 16 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Oh, they’re going to get so sued if they actually do this. I’m picturing the window-shatter demo of the cybertruck, but with brains.

[–] ArcaneGadget@lemmy.world 5 points 11 months ago

I'm picturing the chip overload from Kingsman.

[–] Fades@lemmy.world 49 points 11 months ago

They’ll die or beg to die just like all of those monkeys

https://www.wired.com/story/elon-musk-pcrm-neuralink-monkey-deaths/

How about you step up and be patient zero Mr phony stark wannabe

[–] spacecowboy@sh.itjust.works 39 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I wonder how many of those bag lickers that volunteered refused to get the Covid vaccine.

[–] bi_tux@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago

But the covid vaccine implanted microchips into people... oh....

[–] magnetosphere@kbin.social 35 points 11 months ago

If only there was a government agency with both the will and the authority to do something. Oh well.

[–] cupcakezealot@lemmy.blahaj.zone 34 points 11 months ago

pls put a monkey killing chip in my brain daddy elon

[–] HootinNHollerin@sh.itjust.works 26 points 11 months ago (1 children)

No sane, nondisabled person would allow Elon to put anything in their brain

[–] Avg@lemm.ee 18 points 11 months ago (1 children)

If they are not disabled before, they will soon.

[–] pastermil@sh.itjust.works 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Those NFT bros would probably jump at the first chance.

It would be good riddance.

[–] HootinNHollerin@sh.itjust.works 2 points 11 months ago

They fall under disabled

[–] shiveyarbles@beehaw.org 17 points 11 months ago

This reminds me of Trump's contribution to covid " uh can't you just flash light on it, or drink chlorine?". Just truly brilliant people having world changing ideas. "We'll surgically implant chips into brains.. ignore the dead chimps

[–] Omega_Haxors@lemmy.ml 13 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

You can't install adblocker on neuralink, but thankfully for you, nazi propaganda comes free of charge.

[–] IzzyScissor@lemmy.world 9 points 11 months ago

The only way this should be allowed to move forward is if the board of directors all have the procedure done first.

[–] atkion@sh.itjust.works 8 points 11 months ago

Yooo, real life cyberpsychosis just dropped

[–] ExLisper@linux.community 4 points 11 months ago (2 children)
[–] ook_the_librarian@lemmy.world 13 points 11 months ago

Yikes, that would make you a scalper in more ways than one.

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[–] fsxylo@sh.itjust.works 4 points 11 months ago

You ready to get a montage reel of people pulling their brains out while screaming, straight from a scifi horror movie?

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