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Go to the bathroom between passing periods and let one out.
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Improve your diet, donβt drink carbonated drinks.
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I canβt believe Iβm having this interaction on Lemmy
this post was submitted on 27 Dec 2023
178 points (77.0% liked)
Asklemmy
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Figure out if you are lactose intolerant and don't have any milk or dairy products before going to school or during the day ..... have the cheese at the end of the school day.
Exercise and walk lots .... not intensive just keep moving. The digestive system works better when the body is moving ... the muscle movement especially your abdomen literally pumps and drives the digestive system.
The longer and more often you sit still, the more likely all that content will just sit and take longer to pass. The longer it sits, the more likely you'll build up gas, more gas, more farting.
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yeah, you dont know how to act in public. youll pick it up fast.
no farting.
So everyone's able to hold it in? Where do they fart?
Either they hold it in, they fart silently, they go to the toilet, they do it where there's not a lot of ppl and try to hide it, etc.
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You discreetly carpet bomb the hallway between classes like a gentleman. If the smell catches up, then look around non chalantly to pretend your looking to see who farted.
Depending on the chair and how you position your butt cheeks, you can sometimes sneak out a fart silently.
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Between classes, masking it with other noises, lifting a leg to prevent any telltale sound.
There's lots of strategies. You delay as much as you can but when you got to vent you got a vent and take the humiliation
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This is satire, right? I want to believe homeschooled kids are not as bad as they are often pictured
Having seen how some evangelical adults act (and eat) after being homeschooled, you could tell me this whole thread was 100% true and I'd believe it. I'm not saying it is, but combine social awkwardness with the hot garbage food fundie women post on Instagram, it's feasible. Or, on the flipside, some of the more granola homeschool families I've seen would also be believable in this.
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It's a myriad of issues.
- Farts are not considered to be socially acceptable, and thus one loses "social status" if one farts. So at an early age, you learn to hold it in. This has been going on since antiquity, as it is the source of the oldest humor seen via graffiti.
- You can get in trouble if you fart (I guess because of #1). I knew of a few times someone farted, and the teacher sent them out for punishment for "disrupting class."
- People learn to fart silently, usually through experimentation and training to avoid item #1.
- People learn to fart silently, usually through experimentation and training to avoid item #1.
And then the blame game starts, like a game of hot potato of social standing.
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If you need to fart very often, you may need to change your diet. Look up food that causes gas and try to watch your body after you eat it to find out what makes you fart and what's ok.
Everyone does, they're just quiet about it.
You just need some practice farting quietly.
The sound is much less important than the smell.
if no one can hear you fart, no one knows who is responsible
no one knows who is responsible
That's not correct. We all know that first to smell it, dealt it.
This is generally true except in the controversial case of "he who denied it supplied it" which set a new precedent for fart identification worldwide
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"You smelled it you dealt it" kept everyone quite when I was in school so long as there is plausible deniability for the source.
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Somewhat unrelated, but I do find it funny that farts aren't considered acceptable, but sneezes and coughs are. Like, farts have an extra barrier in the form of your clothing (assuming you're not at a nudist colony or bathhouse) and won't make other people sick. I guess it's just because they're stinky.
I vote to normalize farting with an "excuse me", and saying "bless you" to people when they fart.
Much easier to not fart than it is not to sneeze, and sneezes don't smell like shit.
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It's much easier to suppress farting than the involuntary reflexes of coughing and sneezing.
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I was homeschooled until highschool as well. The best I can tell you is to do bathroom runs occasionally and fart it up in the bathroom. If it becomes a serious social concern then I would look into taking a couple beano pills with your breakfast.
Good luck, and godspeed π«‘ your first while in public school is gonna be hard and weird while you learn how to be normal, but all things (including gas) pass with time.
Pro tip that I didn't learn until uncomfortably late: if a dude has a cool haircut, even if you really wanna feel his hair, do NOT ask to touch his hair unless he does that freshly shaved head thing where he asks people to feel how fuzzy it is. Trust me. Comparing your hair textures and feels is fine among siblings but classmates consider it to be deeply weird.
It sounds like you need a change of diet ...
Honestly, if you can't hold your farts until you go to the bathroom without it hurting, you might need to get on a medication or something. It's extremely rude to do that around other people. What would you do on an airplane?
My relative was a stewardess, and she said the ups and downs of many flights a day (domestic, multiple small flights) combined with airline food would give them all gas.
They had a maneuver they called βcrop dusting β whereby they would release their gases during nonchalant walks up and down the aisle.
This helped disperse the fumes rather than leaving them concentrated.
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Let er rip. Be the hero of the oppressed. Freedom for farts or no freedom at all. Ass Gas or Pass playboi. If she donβt love your gas she donβt love you at all. Huff it or beat it honey. Beans is life
If holding in a fart makes your stomach hurt then you need to shit. It eventually hurts to hold your piss and shit in, but then we use the washroom instead of filling our pants. Same thing, imo.
Have a shit, stop farting all over the place.
Lol what? You can still need to fart but not be able to take a shit. Even so much that it hurts.
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Homeschool kids are so weird LoL.
Avert your eyes children. He may take on other forms!
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