Put down the Scooby Snacks buddy.

Nah that'd scare all the locals away and then some teenagers and their dog would come and get you arrested, possibly harming you (with a makeshift device and/or accidental high-speed tackle*) in the process.

*=Most likely involving multiple people trapped inside a giant water jug and being propelled by a minecart, so you'll probably break a rib or two when they smash you into a wall and then get a concussion when a shelf breaks over your head, leaving you with amnesia but still responsible for the fines (+medical bills) and prison sentence because of a silly scheme and mild fraud/insider-trading that you obviously have no recollection of.

If I was an investor I would invest before bringing the UFOs

Don't give Elon any ideas

[spoilers] "Fall, Or Dodge In Hell" by Neil Stephenson. Billionaire fakes a nuclear attack on Moab, Utah for shits and giggles. Decades later, many Americans refuse to believe that the town still exists.

Jenkies.

I guess although it wouldn't really work