Yepp, nothing to worry about here.

It feels like governments have just seen this as a foregone conclusion and are trying to position in an "every person for themselves" kind of deal. Sure, we've finally done something to cut emissions, but it's the slowest possible move they can make.

Is it just me, or does anyone else who sees temperatures in degrees Fahrenheit (without a Celsius conversion) in a summary of a scientific report like this just automatically consider it an American fluff piece and click-bait to be ignored?

You should read the actual report https://www.science.org/doi/10.1126/sciadv.adk1189.

It might be my naive reading, but it seems that flooding the ocean with 4-5% of the gulf stream flow with fresh water from glacier melt (I think that's a lot) will cause a shut down in the year 3700 or so. Even I, as a climate change believer, think that's a little too far out there to be considered germane.

Actually, probably not