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What's your favorite article from The Onion? (hexbear.net)
submitted 1 year ago by Finger@hexbear.net to c/askchapo@hexbear.net
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[-] Wertheimer@hexbear.net 1 points 1 year ago

Some older classics:

https://www.theonion.com/u-s-flag-recalled-after-causing-143-million-deaths-1819571445

https://www.theonion.com/supreme-court-overturns-car-1819564540

https://www.theonion.com/dna-evidence-frees-man-from-zoo-1819569243

https://www.theonion.com/report-nations-gentrified-neighborhoods-threatened-by-1819569723

https://www.theonion.com/stephon-marbury-embroils-celtics-big-3-in-elaborate-sha-1819570591

https://www.theonion.com/mcdonalds-drops-hammurderer-character-from-advertising-1819566355

More recent:

https://www.theonion.com/teen-on-birthright-trip-hadn-t-expected-to-see-so-many-1824265633

https://www.theonion.com/coffee-cultivation-merely-extends-the-system-of-coloni-1826427318

https://www.theonion.com/melania-trump-stumbles-upon-dozens-of-husband-s-hauntin-1819579168

[-] emizeko@hexbear.net 1 points 1 year ago

“Welcome to Starbucks, you fucking bourgeois pig,” said barista Alexandra Balvin, delivering the greeting in lockstep with 180,000 Starbucks workers across the nation who were suddenly sporting camouflage-printed aprons, hanging up Che Guevara posters, and writing “Imperialist Swine” or “AmeriKKKan” on customers’ coffee cups.

I would totally go there to get coffee and abuse

[-] emizeko@hexbear.net 1 points 1 year ago

https://www.theonion.com/fuck-everything-were-doing-five-blades-1819584036

[-] Ho_Chi_Chungus@hexbear.net 1 points 1 year ago

https://www.theonion.com/this-war-will-destabilize-the-entire-mideast-region-and-1819594296

Aged like a fine, fine wine. It's shocking to believe that this article is 20 years old

https://www.theonion.com/what-i-got-right-about-the-iraq-war-1850249194

This one is also good but super depressing

[-] HumanBehaviorByBjork@hexbear.net 1 points 1 year ago

jesus dick :sadness-abysmal:

[-] innocentlurker@hexbear.net 1 points 1 year ago

Why Do All These Homosexuals Keep Sucking My Cock?

Classic.

[-] FugaziArchivist@hexbear.net 0 points 1 year ago

it's an op-ed written by a hamster: "Me and this Squeaky Wheel are Pulling an All-Nighter"

this post was submitted on 10 Jun 2023
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