this post was submitted on 01 May 2024
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Looks like the tummy ache gun never went away!

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[–] mathemachristian@hexbear.net 58 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

The NIH study into the mysterious illness has only stoked animosity among victims, some of whom claim the CIA made them participate as a prerequisite for obtaining care at Walter Reed.

“They wanted us to be a lab rat for a week before we actually got treatment at Walter Reed — and at bare minimum that is unethical and immoral,” said Polymeropoulos, who believes that this was “ordered” by senior leadership at the agency.

No diagnosis! Only treatment! only-throw

[–] PKMKII@hexbear.net 36 points 6 months ago

Damn those Russians for getting CIA agents blackout drunk with prostitutes

[–] plinky@hexbear.net 29 points 6 months ago

they don't believe in the invisible ray gun invisible assailant's state affiliation pathetic

[–] SacredExcrement@hexbear.net 24 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I thought Russia was too poor to have paved roads, but you're telling me they have a mystery ray gun that the US doesn't have? Despite the US spending roughly 900 trillion dollars on the MIC?

[–] Zuzak@hexbear.net 21 points 6 months ago

They spent all their money on secret underground supervillain lairs where they come up with bizarre superweapons. Here's a diagram:

Wait, that's something else, sorry

[–] sawne128@hexbear.net 18 points 6 months ago

Feds hate them, use this one weird trick to never have to work again!

[–] MolotovHalfEmpty@hexbear.net 18 points 6 months ago

We were told that we could help overthrow Russia and collect a nice juicy medical pension early. Instead all we got was public humiliation and a future being unemployable elsewhere and unpromotable here! Waaaaaaaaaaah!

[–] pooh@hexbear.net 10 points 6 months ago

Sounds like they're not Havana very good time che-laugh

[–] huf@hexbear.net 7 points 6 months ago (1 children)

so what happened to these people? nothing, and they're just liars? long covid? CIA experiment? bad work safety regulations while fumigating the office, so they got dosed with pesticide?

[–] Shrike502@lemmygrad.ml 5 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] huf@hexbear.net 4 points 6 months ago (1 children)

a hangover doesnt last for years, so why are they still whinging?

[–] Shrike502@lemmygrad.ml 6 points 6 months ago

And let a good grift go to waste?

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 6 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Somehow a 1950s Catskills comedian does some topical 2024 standup.

"So a man goes to the doctor with a problem."

"Man says 'Ya gotta help me, doc. My head hurts. I'm very frustrated that the CIA isn't blaming Russia for my symptoms."

"Doctor says 'I'm very familar with that. I've got something I can recommend.' "

"Man says 'Thank you so much.' And the doctor gives him a business card for the Interfaith Help Center.

"Man says 'What the heck is this?' rudely."

"Doctor says 'I'm a doctor. Not a rabbi.' "

[–] Shrike502@lemmygrad.ml 2 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I'm gonna have to ask you to explain the joke to me, because it sounds sketchy as shit

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 2 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I'm Jewish. I wanted the punchline had an exorcism but I couldn't get it to work. And then I didn't want "...not a psychiatrist". The idea is that the doctor doesn't believe at all that it's an actual medical problem.

[–] Shrike502@lemmygrad.ml 2 points 6 months ago

Got it, thanks!