memes

People's safety is more important than people's feelings.

~~I have some extra emotional capacity today so~~ (see edit*) I'll post some wrong think: but can we stop antagonizing populations that feel disenfranchised by society and therefor giving the truly evil fucks out there an easy population to brainwash and feed extra scummy ideologies to?

Young nerdy men who feel excluded from society that dont have any strong female figures in their life are barraged by a constant stream of messaging that could easily be interpreted as "(white) men are evil and the source of all problems with society"

By constantly antagonizing them for not being able to navigate the political nuance of those messages, we give an incredibly easy pathway to the more toxic ideologies that the Tates of the world will pull them into to profit off of them, because they are the only figures who will give them praise and a sense of belonging.

Edit: Its a new day now, and I no longer have the energy. If you want to vent, understanding that venting in this manner will bring about little to no positive change, you do you, I will no longer be responding

The thing is, I've seen statements like this before. Except when I heard it, it was being used to justify ignoring women's experiences and feelings in regard to things like sexual harassment and feeling unsafe, since that's "just a feeling" as well. It wasn't okay then, and it's not okay the other way around. The truth is that feelings do matter, on both sides. Everyone should feel safe and welcome in their surroundings. And how much so that is, is reflected in how those people feel.

The outcome of men feeling being respected and women feeling safe are not mutually exclusive. The sad part is that someone who is reading this here is far more likely to be an ally than a foe, yet the people who need to hear the intended message the most will most likely never hear it nor be bothered by it. There's a stick being wedged here that is only meant to divide, and oh my god is it working.

The original post about bears has completely lost all meaning and any semblance of discussion is lost because the metaphor is inflammatory by design - sometimes that's a good thing, to highlight through absurdity. But metaphors are fragile - if it's very likely to be misunderstood or offensive, the message is lost in emotion. Personally I think this metaphor is just highly ineffective at getting the message across, as it has driven people who would stand by the original message to the other side due to the many uncharitable interpretations it presents. And among the crowd of reasonable people are those who confirm those interpretations and muddy the water to make women seem like misandrists, and men like sexual assault deniers. This meme is simply terrible and perhaps we can move on to a better version of it that actually gets the message across well, instead of getting people at each other's throat.

Downvoted not because it isn't true, but because they aren't automatically mutually exclusive and because it is an unnecessary jab at half of the human species. Why are we paying attention to divisive bullshit instead of focusing on things that actually have the potential to help?

However, women’s feelings does not equal women’s safety.

I'm a woman (a trans one if that matters to you) and have experienced sexual assault and domestic violence from both men and women.

I know the point that people are trying to make with the whole bear thing.

But I think the friction comes from women talk about this as a theoretical to make a point, where men are thinking more literally.

And I do belive that no one in there right mind, if actually given this option in real life, would pick a bear (unless maybe it was definitely one of the more harmless species).

Each and every one of us, even those of us that have survived SA, have had countless uneventful interactions with men you don't know. Even when it's just one on one. And its mostly normal biases that makes us remember the shitty ones more. And something a lot of people forget is that the vast majority of SA victims already know their assailant, so the idea of a rando assaulting you is even less likely. So yes I would much rather be in the woods with a man, than a wild fucking animal. And if you're a reasonable person, then you would too.

How many female teachers have been caught fucking their barely pubescent students this year alone so far?

It isn't a men-women problem. People just suck.

You spelled it wrong, the sign should say "Safety is more important than feelings"

I'm a woman and the same way that women feel about men in this whole meme thing, is the exact same way I feel about women...

I don't trust women within a hairs inch of my life and I would rather be with a bear than a Woman but I bet you I'll get super downvoted for this opinion.

This whole thing is bait.

Anyone engaging on any side of the debate are fools. Any topic antagonizing half the population will somehow stir up some noise.

It's like saying all women are bad at sport because they don't train hard enough. It's ignorant and serves only the purpose of creating a divide in the population.

Stop engaging in the divide.

I see OP noticed how much traction and drama this post stirred up last week so they decided to try it for themselves.

My edge-case where I run into something semi-related to this issue is when I go on my daily walks and get caught walking behind women. I’m a fast walker, it pains me to have to slow down for people and I don’t like having to walk awkwardly around other people walking too slow (especially if they’re just barely slow but not too slow). I realize that the Flash is trapped in a living hell walking behind all these goddamn slow walkers.

I dislike walking behind women especially, nothing that’s their fault, they’re just living life, but because then I get extra self-conscious, like, “Oh geez, what if they think I’m following them or that I’m trying took at their butt or what if I’m making them uncomfortable.” It’s about the implication. Walking slowly isn’t an option because it extends the whole thing out and makes it worse, so then I have to re-route my whole walking routine on the off-chance my very existence might make somebody else uncomfortable.

I’ve tried saying things to them to try to put them at ease like, “I wasn’t planning on raping you,” or “Hey, it’s ok, I’m not a rapist,” but nothing seems to work, if anything, it makes them more uncomfortable. I honestly don’t know what women want from men.

That's quite the universal statement. I think first and foremost, men need to learn that they might not be part of the problem, but that there are many very problematic ones among us.

The feeling of general suspicion is what we need to tackle. If you don't grasp the problems and their magnitude, you will naturally take offense in being suspected.

We need to take this feeling and turn it into anger towards the disgraceful people that are the reason for the suspicion.

So on the contrary, I think men's feelings actually matter a lot, if you want to reach a world free of misogyny and violence against women.

When people justify racism with statistics: That's stupid and you're a bigot

When people justify sexism with statistics: Only one side's feelings matter! I'm going to post this divisive meme everywhere!1!

Edit Sexists know how to downvote, but not present a logical argument.

I'm doing my part by playing with Arch Linux in my mom's basement instead of going outside. Where women are. And Arch Linux isn't. I use Arch btw.

Not sure what else this meme is doing other than actively creating a bigger divide between the genders...

So if men are statistically safer than bears and women's safety is most important, then you agree "bear" is the incorrect choice?

I'm just trying to figure out all these incoherent memes.

Feel however you want, but don't drag me into the what other people have done. I don't deserve the prejudice, and I'd rather just not interact with you.

It's this sexist statement still being made? Cool, cool, cool... I mean it's not actually, but here we are with this crap still being said.

It's nice to change the subjects of racist phrases to get a free dunk on a lot of people that are cool to hate now.

I've been trying to bite my tongue on this whole bear thing from the beginning but these comments...

Every. Single. Post. The comments are a shit show. I'm a woman who has been through SA multiple times, I've experienced DV several times, I've been sexually harassed countless times, and experienced other frightening situations where I could have been harmed but managed to get to safety. I never reported any of it so I know first hand statistics are bullshit and revictimization is extremely common.

I will a billion times over take the damn bear. I would take sure death over the possibility of being raped again and left praying for death. I've tried to end my life by my own hand many times in the past because of the violence I've experienced. If you don't get why a lot of women pick the bear, shut the fuck up and listen to why.

I can guarantee if you ask women in your life that trust you if they have ever experienced SA, DV, or harassment they have at least once or know someone who has.

Here's my hot take on all this:

Fellas, it's not that your feelings don't matter, everyone's feelings matter, it's that your feelings don't matter more than the safety of others.

You're getting mad at the wrong shit here. You're mad at the women for not wanting to be stuck in a forest with a random dude, when in all actual fact, that decision was borne from a plethora of experience with random dudes, most of that experience being negative.

Almost all of that negativity is because there's to fucking many creepy ass dudes making us all look bad. To be blunt, I have high hopes, and expectations from my fellow man; especially when it comes to respecting women. Yes, there's a nontrivial number of crazy bitches out there, in the same breath, there's a lot of crazy dudes too. They're making us all look bad. Be mad at them.

The women are only making the best decision for their own health and safety, based on their experience. Be the change you want to see in the world, my brothers. Be that change.

So there mere presence of a man implies a lack of safety? It may be your feelings but it is also major misandry.