Tell her a fun fact, in your best science teacher tone. It takes one billion microseconds to get to one second. Hopefully she can run with this and ask more questions.
this post was submitted on 12 Jul 2024
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I'm pretty sure that this is wrong? It should be one million. Am I too tired?
My mistake, yes one million.
Dad jokes or anti jokes maybe? Math formulas? A foreign language?
Using capitals
How to disco.
Teach her to say "I was born on a pirate ship"
Once she's able to say it properly, tell her to open her mouth with a finger at each corner and say the phrase again. Get her to shout it out
Then tell her to show her new trick to mom and dad.
What I like to do with kids that age is cartwheels. One hand, two hands, one foot, two feet.
Good time to introduce them to interesting foods too.
Spitting watermelon seeds really far is also fun.
The macarena.
That white cows make milk for white coffee and black cows make milk for black coffee.
No no no. White cows make milk. Brown cows make chocolate milk.
Greasy, grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat
Dirty little birdy feet
Floatin in snake eyeballs
Too
Bad
I
Forgot
My
Spoon
But I got my straaaaaawwwwww. sluuuuurp
Wow!!! This is fascinating-- I was raised with
Great big gobs of Greasy, Grimy, Gopher Guts Propagated Porcus Puts Sterilized Monkey Eyes, And me without a spoon! scoop Too Bad!
I think my mom was crazy on second thought
A good mom is always a little crazy lol.
I've heard that version, and there was a version of the one I wrote out that started "great green gobs" too.
You wanna know what's surprising though? We were taught the song in school, by the elementary music teacher. She'd come through the district one school at a time, once a week and we'd have music class. Basic rhythm instruments (like those ridged sticks you rub together that we canned rhythm sticks, maracas, cabasas, etc) and folk songs and such.
It was awesome. Mrs Gore was her name. Really tall blonde lady with an incredible voice that had infinite patience with kids that couldn't sing worth a damn lol.
I've never been good at rote memorization, but I remember every damn song she taught us.
Michael row your boat ashore, Puff the magic dragon, she'll be comin round the mountain, Mary Mack, John Jacob Jingleheimer Smith (usually pronounced Yon Yacob Yingleheimer), and a bunch more.
Oh man, and my entire class when I was in second grade took part in a school show, where each class did a song. We did Amazing Grace, and there were tears among the parents, and not just of boredom or because we sounded like a random group of kids trying to sing lol. We wore these blue vests and pants (I think the girls could choose to wear skirts, I remember that not all did, but not any discussion about it). It was so damn fun.
Do the burp trick by swallowing air, and then giggle uncontrollably.
Juggling?
If you know how, teach her how to whistle real high using the fingers on top of the tongue. One way is by making an O with the thumb and the index finger, bending/rolling your tongue backwards a bit and pressing your fingers against it.
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gentoo
Impressions. Cartoon characters are best
Teach her about Poseidon's Kiss.