this post was submitted on 01 Sep 2024
718 points (99.0% liked)

Greentext

4391 readers
1017 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] CaptDust@sh.itjust.works 125 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Bro never seen a Roman statue, stand proud growers.

[–] Quik@infosec.pub 89 points 2 months ago (6 children)

Don’t know how serious this was meant, but I just wanted to inform you that especially the Ancient Greek had another beauty standard thinking men with small penises were superior to larger ones as they thought of people with big ones as barbaric, dull and impulsive.

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] Fizz@lemmy.nz 31 points 2 months ago (2 children)

But people laugh at those statues and call them small dicked so I dont think men are seeing those and feeling secure.

[–] CaptDust@sh.itjust.works 48 points 2 months ago (11 children)

No one was telling these dudes they were small dicked to their face, I can promise this.

load more comments (11 replies)
[–] boogetyboo@aussie.zone 5 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (4 children)

People... Who?? Are you hanging around museums listening to people commenting?

I think you've invented something to get upset about

[–] Fizz@lemmy.nz 6 points 2 months ago

I don't know what you gain from trying to make out like no one has this opinion but you're wrong. I've heard it everywhere from school to the internet to work. It doesn't bother me, I'm not lacking in self confidence. Im only pointing it out to the other commenter that he's comparing himself to statues that get roasted for having small dicks and acting if it's some own.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] EfreetSK@lemmy.world 17 points 2 months ago

I always say I have a body of god

[–] cRazi_man@lemm.ee 99 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (10 children)

For whoever needs to see this to help with insecurities:

Graph

Data:
Population Penis Size: Veale et al. 2014
Male Perception: King 2021
Female Perception: Prause et al. 2015
Porn-star: /u/omsoni @ /r/measuredpornstars (deleted post, but there's a lot of data still there)

Analysis: R & Excel
Visualization: R & Gimp

Reposted from Reddit.

Edit: also, I am surprised that it is not yet common knowledge that there is a lot of prosthetic use in porn. Look closely next time and you can see the prosthetic most of the time.

[–] Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world 62 points 2 months ago (1 children)

There is a lot of prosthetic use in porn. Look closely next time and you can see the prosthetic most of the time.

[–] Psythik@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

It must be frustrating not being pansexual. The dating pool is so tiny for you! How do you even enjoy porn when you don't find all the performers attractive?

[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The straight men who exclusively watch lesbian porn are laughing at you

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 33 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] Raiderkev@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 2 months ago

Tbf I heard it in my head the moment I saw it.

[–] ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 16 points 2 months ago

85% shorter than mean perceived by women

Not helping lmao.

(Well it's kinda helping because + on that number still but shhhh laugh at my joke)

[–] thedirtyknapkin@lemmy.world 14 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

there may not be a correlation between race and length, but there is a correlation between race and percentage of spongey tissue.

this is basically what creates the difference between what people call a "grower" vs. a "shower". black people are slightly statistically more likely to be "showers" having a larger flaccid size. I bet this is where the idea stems from. the extreme examples is this will, however, achieve a less hard erection. so it's not all bad for the growers. that said, porn stars have tricks to achieve longer harder erections. Viagra is the absolute norm on professional porn sets. meth and other stimulants also run rampant. it's generally not actually pleasant work.

the racial statistical correlation is weak, and not really worth much. it's about as significant as some peoples being taller on average. in fact, much less so, because "black" isn't a distinct population. i have no idea if there have been better more detailed and representative studies done on this. the only one I've seen just went off of general demographic data sets like "non Hispanic white" or "black". maybe you could argue it's not worth studying, but damnit, everyone kinda wants to know. it's all talked about often enough. we should really get to the deepest bottom of it just to end the argument. even though proving things with data never ends arguments.

[–] MutilationWave@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

So I'm glad guys can see this information and I'm glad you put it out there. Most people don't care too much about size.

I might get ravaged for this but I'm going to throw it out there.

There absolutely is a racial (more accurately genetic) component to penis size. Yes it's true race is a social construct but to pretend genetics don't exist is a bit silly. Let's pretend it's only corollated with height. The average height for men in country A is 5'2". The average height for men in country B is 6'0". Again country does not equal race or ethnicity or anything but the two countries I picked are largely ethnically homogenous. Acting like such a large difference in height does not affect the size of individual parts of the body is silly.

[–] Kalothar@lemmy.ca 2 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Well, that’s because every single other body part has a bone in it. The penis does not have a bone, so growth would be more related to their endocrine systems, nutrition and individual genetics.

The height difference is not statistically relevant here

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] OmegaLemmy@discuss.online 5 points 2 months ago

Are you telling me I could be a porn star?

[–] kruemel@lemmy.autism.place 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

The last bullit point is not visible in the data the plot gives. Edit: i really do not want to talk about the topic, just about the presentation of the data.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] AeonFelis@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Are these soft or hard measurements?

[–] psud@aussie.zone 8 points 2 months ago

Penis length studies use erect length or stretched flaccid length. Many penises are very short when flaccid, others are their full length when flaccid

[–] Drivebyhaiku@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

Huh... I had no idea my partner of 15 years was quietly slinging above the pornstar mean. This is what you get when you are an ace trans masc guy who never dated around and doesn't watch porn...

Sitting on this embarrassment of riches all this time and never knew! (pun absolutely intended).

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 73 points 2 months ago (3 children)

I mean, dude has a point, and not just on his penis.

Most guys don't see a wide range of dicks. The ones they usually see are selected to look good on film or at a distance, which means much bigger than average.

If you ever work a job that's dick heavy, you start to figure out that porn dicks are rare. And that they're often not as big as they're made to look via camera and positioning tricks. Then again, you also end up seeing the outliers more often, which can be entertaining.

Steve-o is a tad on the large side of the usual range, based on the images and footage (or inchage, I guess) I've seen.

[–] Clanket@lemmy.world 15 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I must now search for Steve-O's penis.

[–] Anyolduser@lemmynsfw.com 8 points 2 months ago

Good luck and Godspeed.

[–] theoretiker@discuss.tchncs.de 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

But then there are the dicks that we don't get to see because they would confuse and distract the audience (Willem Dafoe apparently)

[–] Longpork3@lemmy.nz 11 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Few things are as affirmative to a mans body image as the communal shower after a rugby game. Not only do you see a true representation of average penises, but literally everyone is suffering "rugby dick" and on the verge of inversion due to blood flow regulation that occurs with intensive excercise.

[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 8 points 2 months ago

Oh, heck yeah! Not even just rugby. Weightlifting, martial arts, basketball, anything I've ever done that was intensive, it makes our dangly buddies into barely an outie at all, even the guys that are dangling pretty low before the activity starts.

[–] grrgyle@slrpnk.net 2 points 2 months ago

Ohhh so that's what that is. I always wondered if it was a coincidence or what.

[–] Icalasari@fedia.io 30 points 2 months ago

Fake: Porn is pretty fake Gay: Literally read the green text

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 25 points 2 months ago (2 children)

This is like the time Tom Green taught everybody about testicular cancer

[–] Shortstack@reddthat.com 7 points 2 months ago

Don't forget to feel your balls!

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] EnderMB@lemmy.world 24 points 2 months ago (2 children)

SteveO is the last guy from that group that you'd think would have a lasting career. His standup isn't great, and he still does a lot of stunts that most fucking SUCK to do when you're in your forties, but he's happy, a nice guy to everyone, and seems to have found a niche that still pays the bills.

I'm shocked that Jackass hasn't been picked up by Netflix or another streaming platform as a TV series. They're available, they enjoy what they do, the filming is cheap, they've got people desperate to cameo, the music budget is apparently amazing because the bands involved love their music being used for Jackass, the list goes on. IMO it would be a great way to get the original gang around as cameos, and to get some of the solid newer additions from Jackass Forever a central role.

[–] thedirtyknapkin@lemmy.world 16 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I'm pretty sure I've heard steve-o say himself that they couldn't probably pull off much more jackass without like... dying. also i think the vibes have been off for them as a crew since bam went off deep and Ryan died.

[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

but he’s happy, a nice guy to everyone, and seems to have found a niche that still pays the bills.

Yep. To add, his list of stunts he regrets are "this was unethical, that turned out lame" instead of "this was the most painful".

[–] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 15 points 2 months ago

Porn peckers are the exception not the rule

[–] Mr_Blott@feddit.uk 7 points 2 months ago

I still have nightmares about that man's teeth

[–] Jimbo@yiffit.net 6 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

compared to porn it's like 1/10th of the hammers they sling

Uhh yeah, it's porn

load more comments
view more: next ›