I'd say the main difference is Lemmy has been around for 4 years and Kbin is only a few weeks old.
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The future of Tildes seemed obvious given the experience with reddit so why bother? Kbin pretty much is Lemmy with a different UI. The structure of Lemmy makes sense, basically it is like reddit except the instances add a new dimension which makes much more sense to me. I know lots of people who would enjoy features of reddit, but don't use it because they don't identify with the brand of reddit.
Has Lemmy passed kbin? Last I heard they were growing pretty evenly if you compare the biggest individual instances at least. Maybe creating your own instances is simpler with Lemmy?
My experience from the "early days" right when the Reddit blackouts were planned and people were looking for a new home, Lemmy was the main name being dropped. Plus when you went to the general Fediverse hub, Lemmy showed up at the top, while I just happened to read someone mention Kbin being a better interface and I had to search around for it.
If you decide to make Kbin a home (you don't have to have just one), stop by the KbinStyles magazine. I think this is where Kbin is showing its true power, customizing. I haven't really seen much of the same possibilities mentioned for Lemmy (yet). Both softwares are very early on, so there's lot of potential for either.