this post was submitted on 05 Sep 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works
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Anon is Wario (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 3 months ago by Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works
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[–] ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 136 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I'm not sure what other outcome this woman could reasonably have expected.

[–] blanketswithsmallpox@lemmy.world 20 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

For real, especially if they were role playing up to that point. I know all the Wario stans would gladly take a hot glazing of Wum to the face but you gotta expect the waaaaaaaaaaah.

[–] Wanderer@lemm.ee 3 points 3 months ago

She's probably as autistic as OP but she probably a cute girl so had load of normal guys smashing and didn't really have to think about much.

[–] RangerJosie@lemmy.world 80 points 3 months ago (2 children)

This sounds like one of those teen movies from the early 2000s.

This whole scenario could have been Stifler from American Pie. Dare you to tell me I'm wrong.

[–] NegativeInf@lemmy.world 25 points 3 months ago

I'd rent that at the BlockBuster for ¢99.

[–] idunnololz@lemmy.world 15 points 3 months ago (2 children)

You're wrong

[–] Huschke@lemmy.world 11 points 3 months ago (1 children)

But... but... he dared you... How dare you!

[–] RangerJosie@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago

Swords at midnight.

There can be only one.

[–] RangerJosie@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago

/slaps you with a steel gauntlet of enduring numbness +4

[–] xantoxis@lemmy.world 51 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I mean, how could you not

[–] whyNotSquirrel@sh.itjust.works 29 points 3 months ago (1 children)

antidepressants?

[–] Senseless@feddit.org 7 points 3 months ago

too real

[–] deuleb_biezelbob@programming.dev 6 points 3 months ago

terminal cancer

[–] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 49 points 3 months ago (1 children)

RP verisimilitude > enjoyable sex

I don't make the rules

[–] HonoraryMancunian@lemmy.world 30 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I had to look that word up

sex noun 1. (chiefly with reference to people) sexual activity, including specifically sexual intercourse. "they enjoyed talking about sex"

[–] BugleFingers@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Where did you find that definition? That wasn't the definition I remembered so I looked it up too and I found what I thought it was but not what you found. Was that on urban dictionary?

[–] shottymcb@lemm.ee 13 points 3 months ago (1 children)

He had to look up the word sex.

[–] BugleFingers@lemmy.world 7 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Ahhh my bad, I'm dumb and read it wrong, ty

[–] shottymcb@lemm.ee 2 points 3 months ago

It wooshed me on the first read, I probably wouldn't have gotten the joke if your comment didn't make me do a double take 🙂

[–] Prunebutt@slrpnk.net 38 points 3 months ago

imma Wario ima gonna cum!

This better not awaken anything in me.jpeg

[–] 2ugly2live@lemmy.world 15 points 3 months ago

Just because of that? Was the rest of the sex also disappointing?

[–] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 11 points 3 months ago

He wario'd to completion

[–] pigup@lemmy.world 9 points 3 months ago

fake && gay

[–] ZombiFrancis@sh.itjust.works 6 points 3 months ago

Was anon's spouse the Mario at the swinger party?

[–] feedum_sneedson@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Nobody would get horny at that party.

[–] bilb@lem.monster 8 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Are you kidding? I'm getting horny over here just masturbating about it.

[–] P4ulin_Kbana 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

You did not had to share this fact with us.

[–] Alexstarfire@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago

Yes he did. It's in his contact.

[–] bizzle@lemmy.world 8 points 3 months ago

Nerds know how to get down, bro.