Prob fake but imagine spending a lot of time trying to form a friendship with someone and in the end you find they were only trying to fuck the entire time.
this post was submitted on 16 Nov 2024
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Theres a lot to unpack here, but really OP made a mistake by asking to go hiking. Thats a terrible first date idea and also isnt inherently date-y. Likely he was just missreading her kindness as flirting, but if he had asked her to dinner or coffee brunch it would've made his intentions more clear to her.
Not that it really matters because its fake and gay anyways.
Well, I read like a hundred times that going for a coffee is an incredibly boring date idea and doing some activity you both actually enjoy is much better.
For what it's worth, I hate the idea of a coffee / dinner date. Seems incredibly forced and like some kind of an interview. Though, I'm not dating and not interested in doing it, so I might be completely out of touch.
Coffee is boring if you are boring. That's why some people are against it.
There is also an art to keeping it short. No need to sit at a table for 5 hours. After an hour you should know if you want to go do something together.
Coffee is a great first date if you met on a dating app. It's a public location where you can both meet in person for the first time and chat but neither of you is forced to stay if things aren't shaping up how you expected.
But if you already know each other then yeah, coffee isn't much of a date.
Yeah, I guess it does makes sense if you're meeting with a complete stranger. Personally I would still prefer something like a walk in the park but this probably just comes down to personal preference.
My first dates generally start with coffee then turn into a walk in the park if things are going well. A coffee shop is also just a convient place to meet. But I guess that is also going to depend on city layout.
The dutchie in me got confused for a second when u said coffee shop, but hey going to get some weed together can be a fun first date if it's your thing.
It's a safety thing too. Most girls want a public place for a first date. Especially from an app. A park is romantic and nice but offers little in safety depending on the size, location and popularity of the area. So, grab a coffee first. Then suggest a walk around if you want to get a little closer. No need to stay at the coffee house but a park for a first meet can sounds like a frightening proposal for a single woman.
Ok, the park I'm imagining is definitely a safe, public space. I meant something like a city park, not a national park or something, maybe that wasn't clear.
Even if you want to do something more interesting than coffee, find something better than "let's go together to a remote area where no one will hear you scream or find your body" or even just "you'll be stuck the whole afternoon with no way out if it turns out you don't like me." If you want to do something like that, I would recommend a climbing gym or something like that instead. It's public and it's easy to leave, two things you should make sure to include in a first date.
I always do nature trails and I carry pepper spray, and take a trail I know well so I can get us back to the parking lot quickly if I wanna pack it up sooner. Most trails in my area are well populated to boot.
I absolutely wouldn't go on a remote hiking trail with a stranger. That's just asking for a bad time.
Good points, I agree.
I agree, coffee dates suck. I usually do a nature walk for a 1st date because it's free and gives us something to do.
In my opinion dating is basically an interview. Though for a first date i would choose some light activity so if conversation doesn't naturally come it wouldn't be awkward.
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since we have only one part of this supposedly real situation:
4channers always loose and this one did as well, how dare this woman wanting an actual friend
and of course this weirdo assumes it was totally flirting
His coworkers allegedly agree she was flirting, so there's that.
Some people just come across as flirty. It usually isn't deliberate and if you mistakenly interpret it as flirting that's fine. Just don't get all butthurt about it when it turns out they weren't flirting with you like OP and then it's no harm no foul.
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Comments here are ignoring we only have this guys extremely biased view of this situation and are saying "leading him on" was cruel again big assumption.
You mean we have this guy's extremely biased view on this completely made up situation?
Maybe she quit because his reaction to her having a boyfriend creeped her out. She didn’t want to be around someone who misinterpreted what were merely friendly gestures.
I mean, look at his picture! That'd creep me out too. Grayscale, unshaven smoker looking guy.
I don't get why anon believes he is being used. It was a miscommunication, sure. Did he spend money on her before this? Using him as a ride to go on a hike? Hikes being extremely cheap and only needing to pay parking, usually.
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I'll never understand how difficult people make things by not being forthright and making things awkward:
"Is it okay if I bring my boyfriend?"
"...I think there's been a misunderstanding. I had asked you on a hike as a fun first date, I didn't realize you had a boyfriend. I'm going to bow out of this, but I can give you the hike info if you want to take him." And then you laugh about the misunderstanding the next work day, and keep things at work from then on. No reason for it to get bad. Flirting is still fun! Just leave it at that without expecting anything more.
Don't flirt with someone single if you're not interested, don't flirt with someone in a relationship if you're not interesting in breaking it.
It's just that simple.
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