this post was submitted on 25 Dec 2024
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Out of Context Comics

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Comic panels taken out of comics so we can make fun of them!! We love the golden age stuff!

Rules:

  1. Comics must come from actual comic books. No AI or Photoshops.

  2. Single panels are preferred.

  3. Comics should be unintentionally funny. Spider-man cracking wise is not what this is about.

  4. Don't be a dick.

  5. I can't believe I've had to add this... NO RACISM.

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Merry Christmas ๐ŸŽ… (midwest.social)
submitted 6 months ago by m_f@midwest.social to c/outofcontextcomics@lemmy.world
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Context is Action Comics (1938) #105, page 9

Transcript:

Santa Claus: I f-feel l-l-like I'm g-going t-t-through a m-meat-grinder!

Superman: Great! That shows we're making progress!

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[โ€“] sundrei@lemmy.sdf.org 32 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (3 children)

Of course, Santa has an official bio in the DC Database:

Powers
Charisma: With the exception of notable individuals such as Lobo and the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus has the ability to engender trust and inspire hope in others.

Immortality: Santa Claus appears to be virtually immortal, having not aged beyond his traditional image for several centuries.

Magic: Santa is stated to have magical powers, though the exact nature of this is unknown. The Prime Earth version is a powerful wizard, capable of hiding entire cities in ice. But he wasn't powerful enough to stand against the likes of Black Adam.[2]

Cryokinesis[2]

Abilities
Artistry: Santa is known for being a toy maker.[9]

Firearms

[โ€“] Korval@lemmy.today 18 points 6 months ago

Also from the bio (can't imagine why this nugget didn't make it into the movie):

In 2008, John Constantine located the skeleton of [Saint] Nikolaus and arranged to have the remains shipped back to England for use in an occult ritual. In order to get the remains through customs, Constantine had them ground into powder and convinced the customs agent that it was gardening fertilizer. He used some of the powder for his ritual, then snorted the rest as if it were cocaine, musing about how it was going to be a "White Christmas".

[โ€“] Xanthrax@lemmy.world 15 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Firearms?

[โ€“] sundrei@lemmy.sdf.org 11 points 6 months ago (1 children)

He might know a thing or two about them:

He was also briefly a range master at Fort Benning.

[โ€“] Rhaedas@fedia.io 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Wait, but he got the Red Ryder. So is Santa a hypocrite too?

[โ€“] sundrei@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 6 months ago

Santa's a real "you asked for it" kind of guy.

[โ€“] Davel23@fedia.io 3 points 6 months ago

Possibly related to the Lobo Paramilitary Christmas Special.

[โ€“] watson387@sopuli.xyz 6 points 6 months ago

XD Lobo is immune to Santa's powers of bullshit.

[โ€“] BeMoreCareful@lemmy.world 8 points 6 months ago

We're all super progressed! We've been making such damn progress!

[โ€“] limer@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 6 months ago (1 children)

My opinion is that this is not a helpful massage. But an allegory of capitalism destroying the spirit of Christmas

[โ€“] Klear@sh.itjust.works 2 points 6 months ago

Who is representing the capitalism there?

[โ€“] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 3 points 6 months ago

Based on all the Christmas stuff I've seen, for a saint, Santa seems to have a lot of problems.