Banshee

joined 1 year ago
[–] Banshee@midwest.social 21 points 1 month ago

Yep. Exactly this. I'm white and my wife is black. We live in one of the states where our relationship was a crime just 55 years ago.

Her grandfather has stories about what happened to people who crossed the race barrier (of course the law only punished minorities for it, not the white partner). We're not far removed from those horrors and lunatics are already trying to drag us back.

[–] Banshee@midwest.social 6 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Thank you for these links. I'm looking over them. Hopefully I can implement some and see what happens.

And I'm very aware she wouldn't know better. It's just difficult to get her to recognize boundaries. She always wants to play or get in your business. And I understand. She's curious and I'm a lot more interesting than her toys.

But my issue is that while we're teaching her those boundaries, I have pretty much nowhere to go in the apartment to escape in the meantime. Just like she wants places to hide when she wants to be alone, I need that too. I get home from shouting matches with angry people in my industry to be pounced on for a while. I don't often have it in me to engage. I just want to be alone for a bit to recharge.

[–] Banshee@midwest.social 6 points 1 month ago

On the relationship front: probably not the place for it, but other than the cat situation, things are very good. I think we're both too stubborn for our own good sometimes, and that's part of what happened here.

I've never been a primary caretaker for a cat, so my experience is limited. That was a big part of why I was worried about getting a kitten. I've only been around adult cats, and most of them are chill.

Our apartment explicitly forbids the kind of advanced catifying I see online. She has scratching posts with perches, several repurposed cardboard boxes, and a bed we made out of a box and blankets. She uses all of them, and we made sure they were connected to give her an improvised play area/home base. I hope it's enough, or at least a start.

She was separated young, I believe. She was a stray at 8 weeks old, and was possibly separated several days before being found. I don't doubt that's playing a role. She's very needy. I mean, when she isn't being hyper, she demands pets for 45 minutes or more at a time, and she'll nip your hands if you don't provide them. She used to jump on my face to wake me up at night for more attention. Only me though, not my partner.

I'm going to talk to my therapist next month before I consider all my options. It's just been a struggle lately. It's like having an autodestructive toddler with claws.

[–] Banshee@midwest.social 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Cat tax:

Yeah, I really wanted to get an adult or senior cat if we were going to get one. I've had limited exposure to caring for cats, and kittens are challenging.

She actually tolerates her carrier, but our apartment doesn't have enough space for a large dog crate so we could put food and water in there with her if she needs it.

I'm going to mull over whether or not I can hang on that long. I'm not optimistic considering how tough 3 months was. That said, we're going to make sure she goes to a good home no matter what. She's a good cat and someone with more experience and a better environment would no doubt love her.

 

My fiance and I took in a stray female kitten about 3 months ago. She was 2 months old at the time, so 5 months now. She showed up at my fiance's coworker's door and once my partner saw the pictures, she wanted her.

I'm going to be honest and say that I didn't want to take her in. My fiance must have asked over 30 times in 2 weeks. She was in tears pleading before I finally caved. And I regret it. I regret it a lot.

We are not equipped to handle her. We live in a loft style apartment with only one door (to the bathroom). She doesn't have enough space to be a cat, and we're gone an average of 9-10 hours a day for work.

Our cat can be really sweet when she's calm, but that's increasingly rare as she gets more bored with the lack of human companionship. She's even losing interest in her toys and I just don't think this environment is good for her.

Beyond that, I just need space from her. My job is stressful (as is my partner's) and I don't have the mental or physical energy to give this kitten attention, and nowhere to go to get a break. It's reached a point where I dread coming home and I enjoy work more.

This cat is just an unrelenting ball of energy. She's destructive, she doesn't know what boundaries are, etc. And while none of that is her fault, I'm just not ready for it. I have too much on my plate already. I even started therapy just to try to find ways to cope, but I'm frequently the target of our cat's play aggression and none of the therapy exercises help me deal with that.

I am stuck doing most of the cat duties because, despite her repeated assurances, my fiance will not step up and do much to care for her.

But at the same time, I worry about what her life will be like if we send her to a shelter. Where should I even begin? The vet we got her fixed at just said "well, what did you expect? She's a kitten." Which is true, but not very helpful.

[–] Banshee@midwest.social 1 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

I know I'm late to the party, but ~~don't~~ do you think Aeon is ready to be a daily driver?

I currently run Debian stable, but I'm interested in Aeon as an alternative.

[–] Banshee@midwest.social 5 points 3 months ago

I've used OnlyOffice (FOSS, really modern) and Softmaker Office, which is a proprietary German alternative with native Linux support. It also has the best docx compatibility of the Microsoft alternatives.

[–] Banshee@midwest.social 2 points 5 months ago

On the Nintendo page for it, it says the motion controlled games require a joycon, but those games are disabled for online play. Maybe there will be an option to disable them for local play too?

[–] Banshee@midwest.social 17 points 1 year ago

They aren't burning fossil fuels. They're burning CHOOH2, which is the product of a genetically engineered plant.

Everything else has already been addressed by others. It's a dystopia. Public transit exists in universe, but it's very dangerous (as is the rest of the city). The corporate solution is to upsell you cars.

[–] Banshee@midwest.social 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm going to strive to do better going forward. Venting my frustrations out on an entire generation is childish and unproductive. Glad folks here helped set me straight.

[–] Banshee@midwest.social 47 points 1 year ago (4 children)

This one hit close to home. I literally just talked about this here, where I was worried about libs 'letting red states secede' to own the right.

And I did the same thing for boomers. Seems like I need to introspect more. I've been making progress, considering I grew up in a fundamentalist, far right household, but I clearly have a ways to go.

Anyway, thanks for this. Of all the criticism I saw, yours resonated with me the most.

[–] Banshee@midwest.social 23 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I agree. I guess I'm feeling schadenfreude because boomers are finally getting the short end of policies they supported their whole working lives. But nobody should be homeless.

[–] Banshee@midwest.social 35 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I think maybe the description is a bit harsh, but for real, they eagerly helped prevent or overturn just about any social policy that didn't benefit them. And now we're stuck with the consequences.

I know a boomer couple that is extremely conservative. Lived in a nice house that got foreclosed on when the guy took out a loan and couldn't pay it back. They berated their kids for being "failures" their whole lives.

Their kids are too poor to help them and the social services they opposed or helped gut won't either. At least they have some bootstraps to pull themselves up by.

 

I wish I could feel sympathy, but I don't. The Reagan generation did this to themselves, and the rest of us have to suffer with them.

 

I've been using PopOS for a few months now, and I'm interested in Arch, but I'm worried about whether or not I have enough experience to do that successfully. Also, I have an Nvidia GPU until I start a new build in the next year or so. I don't know if that'll be a problem in Arch. It was a major issue with Fedora for me.

I'm willing to learn the terminal, but right now I'm still pretty dependent on tutorials to do more than basic things, like installing software. Most of those are catered to Ubuntu-based distros, so I'm concerned I won't have the luxury of guides to more complex terminal stuff.

Am I overthinking this? Or should I wait longer (maybe even until I build a new PC)?

How difficult is the transition from Ubuntu-based to Arch?

 

For the past few years, I've been seeing a rapid increase in liberal rhetoric surrounding secession, and it scares me.

I'm white, engaged to a black woman. We have already gotten pretty overt hostility from racists in our community. When people say shit like that, they're saying it's okay to throw me, my fiancee, and tens of millions (including other liberals) to the wolves to win some political points.

It embodies the disregard for human rights we see in the U.S. government. I feel like me and my soon-to-be wife are just props to them. We exist when it's convenient, but the moment it isn't, we're fucked.

I don't even know how to address it, either. I don't want my family and anyone who isn't white or doesn't have the right religion, skin tone, political beliefs or sexual orientation to live as a second class citizen, but a growing number of "allies" seem to think it's okay.

Most of us can't "just leave" like they say, either. That's too fucking expensive. It'd financially destroy most people if they tried to uproot their lives like that.

 

This guy can be pretty harsh at times, but he's clearly very knowledgeable..

However, not all providers have a recent review, and his priorities are skewed heavily to the "paranoid" side of the tech world. For example, he considers being able to mail cash to a provider a significant pro. The overwhelming majority of users aren't mailing cash to pay for their email.

Overall, it's good info that's worth sharing.

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