FlickOfTheBean

Funnily enough, a dentist did tell me something like this once, but for soda.

Apparently it's better to chug it than sip it because the acid in the soda doesn't touch your teeth for as long.

Hmm I wonder if I may have shot past the more straightforward way to parse it.

I'm coming from a stance where "don't do it as soon as you know it's ableist" is voiceless rule, so that significantly colors how I'm interpreting it.

That response was more me being like "oh wow this is essentially saying ignorance is an excuse for using ableist language" (caveats run amok here like "only when there are no known other words" as well as "strictly only when one isn't employing a shitty stereotype when referring to whoever they're referring to")

Admittedly, I can see how that is still a less than desirable takeaway, but all I'm trying to say is I 100% agree with what you've written.

Tldr; thank you for the clarification! Full agree and this is mostly just me trying to figure out where some disconnect is

Work is going crazy because 1 project got behind schedule and then another project got behind schedule as a consequence of the first project going off. Waterfall workflows, man.

But it's looking ok. As long as I keep lifting afterwork and vibing out when I'm too tired, I think I'll be ok lol

Thank goodness for flex hours and wfh though. I don't know how I'd survive without being able to take a massive break away from it when it gets to be too much

My biggest take away was:

Ableism is not a list of bad words. Language is one tool of an oppressive system. Being aware of language -- for those of us who have the privilege of being able to change our language -- can help us understand how pervasive ableism is. Ableism is systematic, institutional devaluing of bodies and minds deemed deviant, abnormal, defective, subhuman, less than. Ableism is violence.

So the language itself isn't ableist, technically, according to this, but abilism is when the person using the language thinks of the negative stereotypes associated and uses that to justify some shitty position or action.

So in other words, while lame is acknowledged as a problematic word, it's not inherently abilist to use it, which is not a takeaway I was expecting to get.

Let me know if I misread it, but thank you for posting! It was an informative read!

Weak-sauce is the exact essence of what I'm trying to get at, but it's too... Millennial... Like, internally there's no issue with using it, but saying/typing it out to someone older than me feels distinctly cringe (in the lightest sense, though lol just like something you're not supposed to do, you know?)

That's a good idea too. I think the word I was looking for was "inconsiderate" but these are fantastic solutions for other situations as well!

This post made me realize that the word I'm looking for is likely "inconsiderate". Thank you! Sad is definitely close too.

And I agree, I try not to be too hard on myself when I slip on language I prefer to use. I don't think being too hard on myself is productive in any way anymore.

Cringe is just too visceral for what I'm describing though.

Lame would be a 3/10 while cringe would be like a 5/10, using cringe in its least meaningful form. A full on cringe is like a 8/10 (and depending on who I'm talking to, it seems to sometimes hit like a 10/10)

I gotta agree with you.

It feels like dumb has more baggage than meaning to the point that the baggage has become the meaning. I feel like lame is on the precipice of having the same problem, which is kind of a big motivator for me making this post to begin with.

Ahh those are all fantastic, thank you!

I wouldn't describe "only texting someone when you need something" as mid though, if that helps at all

That's a good one, I like that. Thanks for the suggestion!