Leilys

joined 1 year ago
 

With any luck...maybe they'll carry over to simplex. They weren't as free and open as liberashop, but they were still something. Not sure if there are any other alternatives at the moment.

[–] Leilys@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

I got my Sofle V2 in 2022 as a job change present for myself. I've since changed jobs again, but the Sofle V2 continues to be the keyboard I bring into office.

For a long time I was just bringing it into work in the box it came in, but during the job change period, I bought some fabric, an Apple TV (gen 2) travel case and replaced the moulded foam with a fabric base. Had to do a fair bit of sewing but the result has been pretty great.

It gets a lot of curious comments in the office, and I've gotten fairly proficient at Colemak DHm. I'm planning on upgrading the microcontrollers so I can enable tapdance soonish.

[–] Leilys@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 4 months ago

Yeah, a lot of that. If you gave me 5 tasks in a row I'd remember maybe the last 2 and wouldnt even remember there were more tasks. Now my memory is noticeably a lot better. I usually remember what I came back to my room to grab now. It's very different from what I dealt with before...

Of course I do recommend writing down work tasks and stuff when you can - it helps supplement and cover for the bits you still end up forgetting.

[–] Leilys@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Like mentioned by others, the emotional regulation is a good result from your current medication. Is your psych recommending you switch to another medication?

I'm on antidepressants for my ADHD so the experience is likely slightly different, but being on ritalin solely at the beginning occasionally sent me into a focused spiral into very unhappy feelings that seemed even more consuming than usual. Then I switched to generic wellbutrin, which wasn't for long but gave me insomnia.

Currently on Pristiq now and I and my partner have noted significant improvements in my short term memory and emotional regulation. Maybe your psych thinks there's something that can address more than one symptom? Hope it works out for you.

[–] Leilys@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 6 months ago

Unfortunately, after several discord purges, they seem to be gone now...

But, if you search up liberashop, you'll at least be able to add it to tinfoil and get access to downloads again. It's really sad what's happened to Teknik and other preservationists on the switch scene.

[–] Leilys@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 9 months ago

"Just do it"

Well, I'm trying, but my brain decided I should spend the next 3 hours doomscrolling while I mentally kick myself for not doing the thing already.

I think with adulthood there's been more things I can "just do", but the smaller things usually get procrastinated to hell and back for no reason besides "my brain didn't want to do it".

Same with potential, whatever greatness I was promised by everyone who said that hasn't happened yet.

[–] Leilys@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I appreciate it. I have inattentive type ADHD (also, I think ADD is now nested under the ADHD umbrella), based on what I've experienced so far.

I'm not sure where I fall on the severity scale, to be honest. On one hand, I made it out of education with a 2nd upper class degree in humanities.

On the other, I can't drive long distances (1h+) unsupervised and unmedicated because there's a significant risk that I'll just shut down in the driver's seat and crash my car, even if I'm smacking my face and trying everything to maintain wakefulness. I can't help it, and thankfully so far it's only happened when I've been able to pull over and swap drivers or rest.

[–] Leilys@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 9 months ago

I'll take that, brother.

[–] Leilys@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I'm sort of on my last legs at this current job due to an accumulation of mistakes that could be attributed to ADHD behaviour. I hate using it as an excuse, but it colors so much of my behaviour. I don't ever mean to make mistakes, and so much of them at that...

I have disclosed up my diagnosis to my boss to really try and improve my performance and work within my actual ability, and wrote my boss an email asking for accommodations. The follow up call was basically "You need to focus to do your job here" and "I understand you have been diagnosed, but this should not hinder your ability to do your job".

I've been asked to submit my request for accommodations in writing, so it's not like they're completely against it. But I don't trust that they actually understand the impact ADHD has always had on my ability to perform consistently at work and will be understanding of any missteps, even though I am trying to actively prove that I'm trying with medication and coping mechanisms.

I do have upsides. I work very well in crisis and urgent situations, though the sustained elevated stress leaves much to be desired.

[–] Leilys@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 9 months ago

Unfortunately, I'm not in the US and there are exactly 0 protections against ADHD, so me getting canned for underperformance, even if it's associated to ADHD is fully legal. But I still appreciate your input here.

[–] Leilys@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 9 months ago

This exact thing has bitten me so many times!!

I'll open an email, maybe not pick up on the need to action (especially if multiple people are required to action on things), and then my boss gets to hear about my lack of follow up.

I've tried to keep a list, like I'm working on individual work tickets which has helped, but even then I still miss a couple of items.

[–] Leilys@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 9 months ago (1 children)

On hindsight, I do feel a bit silly about being so upset over a job. I left my previous because the workload escalated to too much, but in the current I was trying to stay, but I've made mistakes that have impacted business, according to my boss. I really liked the culture, but I think the writing is on the wall now.

In my performance management document, it was just hard to read about the "obvious lack of care" and "lack of proactivity and initiative". I feel like I'm always struggling to keep my work in a row, to where I'm just tired and don't have the energy to really ideate or something.

I've been started on some non-stimulants, but the psychiatrist said it might take a while to take effect. I'll probably be more diligent on following up there as well to try and get myself together a bit more. I also do go to the gym about once a week.

It's hard sometimes to see things not work out/fall apart, and the main common denominator is yourself.

[–] Leilys@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 9 months ago (3 children)

Hm, it feels like I'm always expecting the other shoe to drop, for the inevitable collapse to happen. I'm always scared of that, and so far, despite best efforts, it's been true.

I usually reach a point where I'm struggling to deliver even a "reasonable" workload in possibly some form of burnout, and then mistakes happen, and bosses start to side eye me. My lack of ability to notice detail at times also doesn't help, even if I do double back to check.

But I'm still early in my career, so I am learning, developing new coping skills and moving on to do better (I hope).

 

Does anyone else feel a degree of imposter syndrome with work, like it's only matter of time until you can't work around your ADHD enough to avoid problems and everything falls apart?

I'm currently provisionally diagnosed with ADHD, pending further testing. I managed to get a degree and was working for a few years when someone recommended I get tested where I proceeded to finally pass this one test with flying colors...

My experience with work is that in the beginning, my attitude and enthusiasm to learn tends to give my bosses the impression that I have so much potential.

Then, cue the slow car crash that is me failing to meet that potential, then the cracks starting to show due to disorganisstion or task paralysis in my work, eventually putting me in a position where my competency is questioned and I'm falling behind on work because I'm struggling to meet (imo) great expectations that might seem realistic to neurotypical people, but is a struggle for me.

Then I jump ship to a new job, and the cycle restarts.

I thought I had a handle on my latest job. Stayed for just over a year. I thought this was it, I wasn't an imposter, I was finally fitting in. Then cracks, and everything fell apart and I'm now at risk of losing my job again. I tried my best, and I just feel disappointed in myself, like even I can't trust myself to do things right even at max effort.

This sucks.

 

I take Ritalin 10mg on a needs basis since I generally have functioned 'alright' into adulthood.

Just took one to get some work done today and it still amazes me how normal I feel about doing work once I'm medicated. Like there's no massive hurdle to even starting. No massive reluctance and task paralysis to fight.

Coming from a whole week where I've been procrastinating on whatever isn't urgent, suddenly it's so easy to just... do.

I also get incredibly chatty (hence the post, lol), but yeah. I can't imagine how life changing it must be for people who struggle even worse with executive dysfunction.

 

So, I had a really weird train of thought.

In the Ten Commandments, it says to honor your father and mother.

In too many societies, it means that (not all, but still too many) parents feel an entitlement that they can treat their children and grandchildren like crap and still be honoured and served because they gave them life and are their parents/elders.

So, this means parents don't necessarily respect their children, and the children who aren't respected would continue the cycle, respecting their kids less than they were respected, because they're now the parents.

And so on and so forth, which could possibly tie into how the rate of mental health issues are growing (generalising the increased awareness mental health has now).

I understand that this can be easily debunked, and there's more nuance to all of this. But for people who come from "traditional families", I'm curious to hear what you think.

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