Keychron V2, choose the prebuilt with either red or brown switches. If those are too loud, you can swap the switches for silent ones. I am out of date with switches nowadays, but Rtings says TTC blueish-white are good, so that might not be a bad starting point for your research.

Quick edit: for the software, you could also run it in a Windows VM then give the VM access to the USB port.

Also, if you can make do without keyboard specific software, there are some new old stock BTC 5100C boards on eBay. You'll need an AT to PS/2 converter if you want to connect it to a desktop, but all in it should be under $70 USD, excluding shipping. The layout (75% but really really weird) takes getting used to, and it doesn't have N key Rollover if that is something that matters for you, but they are a quieter keyboard than most due to their BTC dome with slider mechanism.

Chyrosran22 did a review of the switch [link]. Fair warning: I don't know if he does in that video, but he can use very non-PG language at times, so if you aren't OK with that you might want to avoid the video.

Edit edit: also on mine the space bar stabilization is utter garbage, its been a while but I think only after a bandaid mod and lube was it acceptable. Legit I think even a person who just uses generic office keyboards might complain about the space bar, it's that bad.

Jeweled lacerta my beloved

All Yesterdays is the first one that comes to mind

Honestly, I find it pretty decent. I only wish I could see timestamps per message on the new UI

Why is it weird? I mean, I don't wear a belt if I do sleep in my jeans, but since that wasn't specified in the meme I would assume it isn't relevant

Pull the switch as the trolley is on that rail so it gets stuck and the trolley kills nobody

If it makes it any better, it would be a sort of small crocodile, at "only" 8 feet (2.6 meters ish ish) long.

Probably not, since there has to be some processing of the noise to identify what it is. TheBackyardScientist did a video somewhat similar to that, here: https://piped.video/watch?v=4WSQqDHK1Yw

That is a really bold opinion, and honestly I don't disagree.

No worries, I probably could have worded it better anyways

That is what I meant. With desktops that are short side down, the motherboard side with the CPU socket, PCIe slots, etc. should be considered as upwards

If you put the empty side towards the top of the machine, that works first try 95% of the time. For desktops, the top of the machine is motherboard side up.