Sunstream

I really should feel sorrier than I do for laughing out loud at this

I replied with this to another user already by I think this applies here, too: I think what they meant was that they participate in only 10% of conversations because when they do they talk too much. Nothing about OP's post tells me they're not aware of the problem or in denial.

I think what they meant was that they participate in only 10% of conversations because when they do they talk too much. Nothing about OP's post tells me they're not aware of the problem or in denial of it. Their question was how to stop doing it.

I think you're taking it for granted that if someone knew about the problem and tried hard enough, they'd be able to stop, so you've answered assuming that they mustn't be taking it seriously else they would've quit doing it already- only there's a lot of reasons why it might be extremely difficult.

ADHD is one of many reasons, and it's not a matter of willpower. This is why it requires medical and psychological intervention to treat effectively, and it is by far not the only cause of overbearing social behaviours.

Always a relevant Simpsons quote

Kid: What if people say you're not good enough to be in the Constitution?

Amendment: Then I'll crush all opposition to me, And I'll make Ted Kennedy pay. If he fights back, I'll say that he's gaaaay

Parasitophobia and dermatophobia (fear of parasites and skin disease, respectively). This bleeds into a fear of fungal infection and worms in general. I guess my kryptonite would be a parasitic skin infection 🙃

I don't know what it is about them that repulses me/freaks me out over anything else- I quite like spiders, snakes, heights, the dark, etc- it's just instant nausea when anyone starts talking about them. If there's a hint I'm in danger of encountering either irl, I'm out.

Worst fear is having something crawl into my ear (I guess I can thank Animorphs for introducing yerks to me as a kid). I've seen some videos of that sort of thing happening to people, and I can't even fathom how calm people seem to be in comparison to how I would be if it were me. I'd have to have to put on a watch so I didn't start ripping into my head in animal panic.

I also have a particular dislike for really large fish and really large lizards. Anything larger than a foot and a half begins to make me uncomfortable. Dinosaurs are right out.

As my sister would say (who has a fear of lizards, herself) "If I were trapped in a room with a komodo dragon and a gun with two bullets in it, I would shoot myself twice."

So you would think, but although South Korea (for example) has a similar low birth rate, their baby boxes gets plenty of traffic, unfortunately.

People who have the largest barriers to contraception, abortion care, sexual health care and education are the the ones most likely to have their children end up in baby boxes.

There's a doco on youtube called Babybox : S. Korea's Paradox of Low Birth Rate that's well worth the watch (though brace yourself if you're a crier, it's rough).

This wasn't maliciousness to my mind so much as it was pure selfishness, but our school guidance counsellor fucked up in a vulnerable moment (particularly for me, but pretty much everyone who had to witness it as well), then doubled down on it and somehow made it worse.

One morning I came to school and my class was really somber. I found out that a girl's mother had died yesterday- that girl was part of my friend's group and I'd just met her mother a few weeks earlier at friend's birthday party; she was lovely. A drunk driver had hit her on a roundabout at 12 midday, of all times, and she'd passed before they'd even gotten her to the hospital.

This was traumatic for my friend on every level, I'm sure, but it was my first experience with second hand grief, so you can imagine it was a bad time to go ahead with the scheduled guest that morning who was there to do a very graphic presentation about drunk driving involving sound effects and acting out a car collision.

I feel sorry for the guy, in hindsight, because he probably hadn't heard a chorus of horrified screams and spontaneous sobbing in response to one of his shows quite like that, before, but that was on the school admin, anyway. What the fuck were they even thinking? "Yes, yes, we're all sad about Jessie's mum ... So anyway, this is how she died, in real time!"

So, moments before this bloody show started up, another close friend of mine turned up late and was confused at our dismayed faces. No one had taken her aside to tell her (the bastards. Why would you not take the girl's close friend group aside to tell them first? Jessie's mum was like a second mum to some of us), so I found it was on me to convey it. That really sucked. A lot. I was clumsy, friend was distraught, you get the picture.

This bitch counsellor, though... When the completely inappropriate presentation got to the graphic bit, my friend took off crying down the hall 'cause fuck all that, and I made to as well. The counsellor stopped me (like she thought I was trying to go after her), and fucking made me sit down and watch the rest of that show, clinging to my other friends trying to sob as quietly as possible and not imagine poor Jessie's mum at the moment her death. We were like, what, 15, 16 years old?

I don't know how the hell my feelings about this bullshit got back to the counsellor, but I think my mum must've called the school after I came home in floods, because again, this fucking bitch called me aside right as the bell rang to go home to (figuratively speaking) pin me down and explain to me why she was totally right to do what she did and she hoped I understood that she did the right thing, blah blah blah.

I just nodded along desperately, getting more and more anxious because my one bus out of there had a very narrow window to get on, and eventually had to interrupt her to beg her to let me go home. I got to enjoy the sight of it driving off without me and had to call my mum to pick me up over an hour later (side of the road on a hot Aussie afternoon- no there was no bus shelter, no the school wasn't open to let me hang around 'til my Mum got in).

Goddamn, I still think about that sometimes. It's not even close to the worst I've heard of teachers, but it's just so petty and unkind it somehow pisses me off more than overt cruelty. Like fuck off, you can't gaslight me into believing you had my best interests at heart with bullying tactics.

Oh yeah that's right, that same counsellor told me I had depression, too, when a) at that point in highschool I absolutely did not and it came out of left field completely, and b) when I did start to suffer from anxiety and depression she was as useful as a cat flap in an elephant house. Shocker.

Fuck you Mrs Whatever-your-face-was. I only remember you by the dumb nickname everyone gave you and that's fair enough because you're also dumb.

I learned in a video that cats can read our facial expressions just fine, we're just crap at reading theirs because their facial muscles don't allow for the same movement as humans (and dogs to some extent). They'll become more anxious if we show a fear expression around them in a new environment, or become more relaxed and cuddly if we smile at them in a new place. They look to us for reassurance as much as dogs do.

Once I learned that they do a lot of their communicating with their tail, I started paying attention to my two cat's tail movements and now I can't unsee it. It's as obvious as a waving hand, and they'll talk to one another this way as well as with us.

For example, they lift their tail as a greeting. If I say their name as they enter a room, I might think they'd completely blanked me if I didn't see their tail lift 'hello' every single time. Once my older cat, Bartine, didn't bother to tail lift, and I said "Oi! Barty! Rude?!". She then gave me a quick, half-hearted lift, like she couldn't be bothered with more than half wave, lol

Their tails quiver with excitement if there's a very interesting treat up for grabs, or my favourite is a coquettish swirl which is 100% "I love you" because it's always followed up with an approach to snuggle or headbutt. They also understand me when I say I love you, but particularly now because I see the swirl tail and say "I love you, too!" followed by indulgent pets.

Eh, the tardigrades will probably survive. That'd be enough for me.

'Tis a silly one, but it's hilarious when it stumps people. Best used verbally:

There are thirty cows in a field, and twenty-eight chickens. How many didn't?

There's no part of the mechanism by which the neocortex is impaired in ADHD that explains "justice sensitivity" except dysregulated emotional control, which is present in myriad disorders and may result in hundreds of psychological pathologies.

If you've any sense of justice at all, you may feel it to a greater intensity than the average person but have less chance of directing it towards useful action. If you get so far as to take action, tendency towards impulsivity also dilutes the utility of such a trait.

You've got the best chance of taking thoughtful action if you're also intelligent, but in ADHD, all that's going to do is add a layer of imposter syndrome to a positive outcome because a part of you knows you weren't in full control when you leapt into the fray.

I'll also point out that the second result of the search you posted is a study that attempts to quantify the phenomenon of 'justice sensitivity', and concludes by suggesting "that higher justice sensitivity in people with ADHD is a coping strategy to prevent the impression that they do not care about social norms and thus to avoid social conflicts and denigration." I don't think that's the the only possible interpretation, but it does speak to what I've described.

Oof, that must have been infuriating. I know there wasn't much choice involved, but good on you for going back each time. I know a few people whose pride would have financially crippled them in that moment. Patience and persistence paid off, in the end. Congratulations on graduating :)