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I've clearly been doing the purse thing all wrong

Genuine Intel 0000 means it's an engineering sample. I would guess this is some sort of preproduction/production sample Thinkpad with that in mind.

The kids are alright

It'll be compatible with 5 Gbps devices, but if you're intentionally looking to restrict even 10 Gbps devices down to 5 Gbps for some reason, you might be able to find something in your BIOS that lets you do that, or you can get a USB 3.0 extension cable that'll limit your speeds to 5 Gbps.

I moved to Pop!_OS entirely when I built my new system earlier this year (had already been using it on my non-gaming laptop for several years) and relegated Windows to an external SSD that has been essentially collecting dust — I think I've used it three or four times.

My experience isn't the same as everyone's, but I'm not in love with most multiplayer games, my work uses software that can be run within Wine/Bottles or a browser, and my preferred creative outlet is writing, which could also be done in a browser if I wasn't such a picky bitch (I am, but Scrivener barely needs massaging to work under Wine and can even be made to look native thanks to using Qt).

Chrono Trigger is still being sold actually, so probably not the best example. That said, I still have my original PS1 Chrono Trigger disc that I haven't played on original hardware (or even my still-hooked-up PS3) for a while because I legally dumped it and play it with a much higher emulated disc read speed. As much as Nintendo has made explicit statements to the contrary, it is legal in most countries to back up your own games and do with them what you will.

Same energy as "Sappho and her friend"

Figma balls

English-speaking countries try not to police other English-speaking countries' dialects challenge (impossible)

Respectfully, this is unhelpful. This is talking about Unplugged, a completely different company, in reply to Phi.

I would argue that NixOS absolutely is the OS you get if your time is worthless, but not every distro is the same. I'd argue that if you need something that doesn't have so many issues a stabler or easier to use distro (Debian, Ubuntu, Pop!_OS, Linux Mint, and even Fedora or openSUSE) is going to be a better option than trying to bend specifically NixOS to do what you want.

I personally use a mix of Pop, Debian, and Fedora, not because they're particularly powerful, but because they tend to be more straightforward for what I want to do than NixOS, Gentoo, or Arch. I don't mind tinkering, but for my main machines I don't want to tinker much.

Edit: I should clarify that there are plenty of reasonable uses of Windows and I don't fault anyone for using it especially if their familiarity is keeping them from understanding Linux as well as they want to. But I also would make the case that there are a lot of distros out there.

I like this one, it's pretty cute and has a neat gameplay concept involving "hacking" other robots to get to places you can't get to with your regular ball form. It's rather short; I have 45 minutes clocked in it on Steam and have gone through the whole game and gotten all its collectibles.

If you're using Linux, use Proton 9.0 or Experimental; earlier versions will play the game without any audio.