iglou

yet none of the currently available tools seem to be anywhere near capable of it.

Exactly. It's not even capable of properly doing web development, imagine trying to use it to target environment requiring absolute optimisation... Or even just video games.

It's not even irony, it's just willful projection at this point. And it works.

It actually translates to boredom in every context!

Depends on their allegiance to the orange king

If something should work, but it doesn't, nuke all the caches before diving in the rabbit hole of debugging weird issues