larsthespacepirate

joined 1 year ago

I honestly enjoy this app more than the basic reddit app except for the lack of people in my communities. it wasn't the best experience at first (late june), but now I really like it on here

I think my first reply deleted, but that makes so so much sense. I learned about that in communication class and completely forgot. for me, i like you statements because they have clear intentions and instructions, but I need to try and remember that most people don't see it that way

[–] larsthespacepirate@lemmy.world 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I definitely want to communicate in a way everyone likes. since I can't control how my words are perceived, i try really hard usually to fit other people's standards. I don't want to make communication hard for others like people make if for me. and I don't want to upset anyone. but then when i ignore how i want to communicate, when im stressed all the bluntness comes out in full force. I really hope we can find a good group compromise, cause I don't want people to be offended or me to be exausted.

I hope they see that I usually try to cover my bluntness, it just comes out in times of stress and then people get upset and then there's even more stress. and it's really tiring always covering it. when I talked to them about it, my sister at least listened, and we're working on finding what's best for both of us, so a compromise IS possible. everyone older than 20 in my family just refuses to change lmao

[–] larsthespacepirate@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I could not recommend anything more strongly than loop earplugs. they have been a lifesaver for me. they have 3 different types with different dB of reduction, and ones made specifically so you can still hear people with them in. I have two pairs and they make everything easier

 

lemmy deleted my completely finished post right before posting so let's try this again. I find it so annoying that I have to sugarcoat everything. I feel like I'm coddling people. I understand being polite to strangers, but it's so annoying when my family, who knows I'm autistic, gets upset at my bluntness. I've explained multiple times that I'm not trying to be rude and I'm just trying to communicate in a way that works for me, but it doesn't work. I just don't understand why I have to say "hey, would you mind not letting the dogs tangle? thank you:)" in some high pitched voice when I could just say, "can you not let the dogs tangle?" in a tone that conveys I'm serious. it's so much easier when intentions are simply stated.

edit: I'm having trouble posting comments but thank you for all your responses! it's helping me see things a bit easier, and I definitely have things I can work on now :)

another edit for clarity: my family and I have talked about my communication style. I've tried to find ways to meet them in the middle, as I want a compromise. they've been unsuccessful but I'm continuing to try. I want to be at a point where it's not stressful and exhausting to talk to my family. this was more of just a vent post, as I was feeling really annoyed.