I know exactly who the character is, and in any normal circumstance I would write it on the more realistic side. Some of the character interactions are a bit unrealistic, but not wildly so. More, a "this is unlikely to happen between these two people".
What I'm asking is if those that enjoy reading erotic fiction want the sex itself to be physically exaggerated, or if they prefer it to be grounded.
I hate when someone puts a bra size into their story. They almost never know how bra sizing works, and it immediately irritates me. I've seen a lot of 32in waisted women that somehow wear a 44F bra ๐.
I'll describe shapes and sizes, but from a character's point of view. I'll write it in a way that a regular person might have described through conversation or reaction. Sort of like your preferred example.