These people never met my mother

Oh I'm sorry, I didn't know ethnic cleansing had sub-cathegories

Schindler's list can eat its ass

The yellow slice is not centered and it's upsetting me

I think you got it backwards, I mean the new one doesn't have cohesion: the parallel stories don't really match with each other

Nope, as I generally want to be entertained when I spend money and time for a movie.
I'd lie if I said I expected this to be as good as the first one, but boy was that an understatement...

In one or two simlpe sentences, summarize the story of the original Beetlejuice film.

Ghost couple tries to shoo away the family who bought their house after they died. The thing gets out of hand when they hire Beetlejuice.

Why this question, tho?

This article is written by someone who likes to fart in a jar so they can keep smelling it during the day

I really hope that you're not gonna end up disappointed as I was yesterday coming out of the theater: I could't find one single aspect I enjoyed and still cannot

Story cohesion, justifiable plot, relatable characters, believable dialogues, good montage (there are more frame changes than a fast and furious chase sequence) and in general there is nothing that make this one look like a Tim Burton movie.
But hey we now have *checks notes* Monica Bellucci, the worst actress the big screen has ever seen...

I saw it last night: it's the worst wet fart of a movie I've seen in a long time

They quoted the word "pureed" which means there was butter and potato starch involved