Exactly, as a man the only thing I care about in regards to milkshake-manliness is if there's whipped cream and a cherry on top! If the waitress forgot it, that means she doesn't respect you and you need to keep ordering until she sees how much lactose you're able to handle as a master of your domain! If you shit yourself, just make sure to tip extra...

Ever since I started drinking Holy water twice a day I've been feeling so much more hydrated. Explain that science!

Exactly, who would put a rebugged version into production anyway?

Yup, it just needs a fast splattering of red paint or similar...

Yup, and they're run on an estimated 8.5 million test machines

Alas, they have all been consumed in a fit of gluttony. The hour of regret is at hand!

I don't see anything wrong with patriotism in the sense of caring about your country, the problem is nationalism where you believe your country is infallible and people often confuse the two. I love my country, but I know it's flawed and think we should do better.

As someone in the process of learning Spanish, some days I just have a mental fog, but I just assume that's part of the process. Like your brain forcing its own rest day. If it came easy everyone would be polyglots.

It's in a plastic bag because microplastics are safer than letting such a large dose of the marijuana leech into your skin

Damn, I thought I was being stealthy by farting silently like an assassin...

The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. - Douglas Adams