this post was submitted on 30 Jun 2023
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see, what makes me think it could be internalized misogyny driving this feeling is that i find myself thinking about how some of my female friends are stupid/vapid for not wanting to be associated with masculinity at all, which is definitely an issue. i feel weirdly… insecure in my masculinity, i think, but being a woman makes that definitely an odd thing to think.
i’m still pretty obviously working through it hahaha, but i think that regardless of what could be driving me, experimentation is probably a good idea.
Looking at what you've said here and elsewhere on the thread, I'd say that at worst, you're dealing with processing socially imbedded roles and assumptions. I can't speak to much more than USian culture, but there's a strong association between masculinity and 'coolness' and with femininity and soft 'airheadedness'. Not getting why people wouldn't want to be cool is a reasonable hang up, and a good thing to know about yourself. Putting practice into holding the idea that "just because I don't understand it doesn't make it wrong" is pretty much the path forward there. For exploration on ways you may want to express, I'm not a fan of tiktok as a platform, but there's a ton of "mascgirl" fashion there. It's cool, primarily street wear looks, being worn by people proud to be GNC women and girls. It does seem to be a pretty not-straight space, but it isn't like a requirement.