this post was submitted on 07 Nov 2024
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electoralism

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List your predictions for the next 6 months here (hexbear.net)
submitted 1 week ago by REgon@hexbear.net to c/electoralism@hexbear.net
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I'll go first:

  • Libs will suddenly discover that there's concentration camps in Gaza. This will lead to one protest with cheeky signs.
  • Someone assassinates a prominent politician (not Trump)
  • McDonalds' releases a new burger, which Trump tweets about.
  • John Bolton releases a new book.
  • Trump inflames tensions with Indonesia or Mauritania, suddenly everyone is a geopolitical expert
  • Trump pledges to give more weapons to Ukraine after meeting Zelensky. Stops all support after meeting Putin, pretends not to have made the previous pledge.
  • Trump will do a minor goof which libs will bring up for the next four years. His supporters will carry around comfort blankets to show support
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[–] FourteenEyes@hexbear.net 64 points 1 week ago (2 children)

The ninth Trump assassination attempt actually succeeds in hitting him and it's even a direct hit, but through a bizarre freak coincidence it misses every major blood vessel in his brain and he survives. He undergoes a change in personality like Phineas Gage, becoming increasingly fixated on Sonic the Hedgehog, posting takes about the series on Twitter late into the night. He regains his posting power, but devotes the bulk of it to dunking on Ken Penders and expanding the lore of his fanfics.

[–] Sickos@hexbear.net 8 points 1 week ago

Donald Trump charges the entire federal establishment with writing fanfics about his Sonic OC, in a highly publicized effort to unseat The Loud House: Revamped. He does not succeed.

He still does a mission-accomplished-1mission-accomplished-2 mission-accomplished and declares that goal was always to make the longest Sonic fanfic.