this post was submitted on 15 Nov 2024
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neurodiverse

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What is Neurodivergence?

It's ADHD, Autism, OCD, schizophrenia, anxiety, depression, bi-polar, aspd, etc etc etc etc

“neurologically atypical patterns of thought or behavior”

So, it’s very broad, if you feel like it describes you then it does as far as we're concerned


Rules

1.) ableist language=post or comment will probably get removed (enforced case by case, some comments will be removed and restored due to complex situations). repeated use of ableist language=banned from comm and possibly site depending on severity. properly tagged posts with CW can use them for the purposes of discussing them

2.) always assume good faith when dealing with a fellow nd comrade especially due to lack of social awareness being a common symptom of neurodivergence

2.5) right to disengage is rigidly enforced. violations will get you purged from the comm. see rule 3 for explanation on appeals

3.) no talking over nd comrades about things you haven't personally experienced as a neurotypical chapo, you will be purged. If you're ND it is absolutely fine to give your own perspective if it conflicts with another's, but do so with empathy and the intention to learn about each other, not prove who's experience is valid. Appeal process is like appealing in user union but you dm the nd comrade you talked over with your appeal (so make it a good one) and then dm the mods with screenshot proof that you resolved it. fake screenies will get you banned from the site, we will confirm with the comrade you dm'd.

3.5) everyone has their own lived experiences, and to invalidate them is to post cringe. comments will be removed on a case by case basis depending on determined level of awareness and faith

4.) Interest Policing will not be tolerated in any form. Support your comrades in their joy!

Further rules to be added/ rules to be changed based on community input

RULES NOTE: For this community more than most we understand that the clarity and understandability of these rules is very important for allowing folks to feel comfortable, to that end please don't be afraid to be outspoken about amendments and addendums to these rules, as well as any we may have missed

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Hi comrades, it’s yappening again - you're invited to drop in chat about what's on your mind in Webfishing!

Countdown timer

Note that the FAQ has been updated.
New questions with answers will be highlighted below:

When is the drop-in server being hosted?
This Saturday, 11:00am PST / 2:00pm EST / 7:00pm UTC
Click on the UTC link to be taken to Bing search results that will localise the time to your specific region.

I will edit this post with the code to enter the server when it goes live.

How long will the drop-in server run for?
I'm planning to run it for approximately two hours unless there is demand for it to run longer and I have the spoons for it.
This post will be deleted when the server has closed for the day.

What happens if the server crashes?

If there was about 20 minutes or less before the server was due to close and things were winding down, sorry folks - the party died a little prematurely. But if it looked like the momentum was going to continue and I could keep going then I’ll fire up a new server and send out a new ping inviting you back. If there was 30 minutes or more to go before the promised close time, I’ll do the same.

How can I join the ping list?

Comment below or send me a DM to request being added to the ping list.

Will you notify me in Element when your server goes live next?

I need to do a viability assessment before I can promise anything. If you want to be on the waiting list, send me a DM to let me know and I’ll put you down and if/when it gets launched I’ll let you know via Element.

Will you hold it at a more reasonable time for North America/my time zone?
I plan to. I intend on holding this drop-in server at different times to cover different time zones so that it's suitable for folks wherever they happen to be.

What is Webfishing anyway?
It's a new little cozy game that's based around fishing and feels a lot like Animal Crossing.

How does it work?
It's basically like a chatroom that has a little game attached to it. You don't have to play the game if you just want to chat. The game itself has a very relaxed vibe without any time pressure or specific goals you have to achieve.

Where do I get the game?
It's available on Steam for around $5 USD, less if you're in a developing country.

What if I can't afford to buy the game at the moment?
If it's the one thing that's stopping you from joining, send me a DM and I'll buy a code for you to use as long as you are a Hexbear user with an account that isn't brand new.

Can I join if I am a lurker, if I do not have a Hexbear account, or if I found this via another part of the Fediverse?

What if I do not identify as being neurodivergent?

Of course. As long as you adhere to the Server Ground Rules listed at the bottom of this post you are invited to join the server.
You do not have to identify as neurodivergent to join the server, I've just been posting on here as I gradually grow this project and improve it to avoid overextending myself. In due course I hope to start promoting this to the whole site but for now I've still got my training wheels on.

You are not expected to be an active Hexbear user with an account in order to join the server - everyone is welcome.

What are the system requirements?
They are reasonably low. You need a device that can run Steam (like a PC, a laptop, or a handheld device such as a Steam Deck or similar.)
You can read more about the specific system requirements on the Steam page to see if your device is up to the task of running the game.

Can I join the server straight after downloading the game?
There is a brief, mandatory tutorial that the game makes you do when you play for the first time. It should only take you a few minutes to play through though. After you have completed the mandatory tutorial you will be able to join a server and start chatting/playing.

Do I have to RSVP? How long do I have to stay if I join?
You don't need to RSVP, just show up whenever you're ready to while the server is running.
You don't have to stay for any longer than you want to. You can even just pop in to say hello and then head off straight after if you like.
If you mention that you are interested in joining the server for this event in the comments section below, I will ping you when it goes live.
If you want to be part of the main ping list, just say so and every time a new post about the next upcoming peer space gets posted I’ll ping you so you get a notification that another one is happening soon.

Do I have to use my Hexbear username?
No. I'd recommend that you don't so that way you have some separation between your account here and your character in Webfishing.

Will it be moderated?
You bet it will be. I will be in there the whole time and I will moderate the space to maintain its safety.

Is there an age requirement to join the server?
I cannot guarantee with 100% certainty that the server will be safe or suitable for minors so you are only permitted to join if you are 18+.
I will do my best to ensure the server is safe but people may chose talk about heavy subjects or topics that are inappropriate for minors and I do not want to expose minors to undue risks.
I cannot check your ID at the door but please keep in mind that you need to be an adult in order to join.

A Casual, non-Peer Support server are currently being trialled for viability where the rules are stricter on acceptable discussion but which is open to all ages.

If you would like to be added to the non-Peer Support list then please send me a DM requesting to be added to that peer list. All users on the main ping list will also be notified of the casual non-Peer Support server going live.

Please DO NOT comment below letting everyone know that you are a minor – don’t announce your age online in public spaces especially if you aren’t an adult, please.

What's the difference between the Peer Support server and the casual one?

All users will be expected to keep things age-appropriate in the casual server.
Currently the casual server is going live on an ad-hoc basis without advanced notification, mostly by request at the moment.
I will be there to moderate however my engagement is less intensive to allow me to manage the demands on me. Think of it as a low key hang out space to chat with whoever is in the server but not as a space where I will be able to provide peer support.

Can I make a request for you to start the casual server?

You can try.
I will make no guarantees but if I am available, if I have enough energy, and if checked my inbox, I'll probably make it happen.

What can I talk about in the Peer Support server?
Almost anything.
Don't dox yourself or others, don't be abusive or make threats against others, but basically if it wouldn't break the rules here then it won't break the rules in the server.
For more a detailed and explicit explanation of the rules, the Server Ground Rules can be found at the bottom of this post.

What if I don't have anything to talk about?
I don't mind. You can just hang out in the server and play the game or be a part of the group.

Why are you offering this?
I used to be a peer worker and I have worked in the disability and mental health sectors. This is something that I have done professionally (only face to face, not online) and it's a way of providing support to this community if there is anyone who would like to chat or to seek peer support.
It can be hard to access mental health supports for a variety of reasons. This is my modest attempt to make accessing mental health supports a little bit easier.

Is this like a life coaching/neurodivergent coaching thing?
No. While I have been trained in different coaching methods, as it is a group space and as there isn’t necessarily continuity in how your accounts will appear to me in different sessions if you choose to change your details, along with the fact that there is no accountability and goal-tracking being offered alongside consistent bookings (not to mention that I will not be keeping casenotes on my end), formal coaching is beyond the scope of this server.
I may draw upon coaching methods in the server as I see fit but this server is not a suitable space for an ongoing coaching mode of support.

Are you a qualified therapist or doctor?
Absolutely not and I'm not attempting to be one.
I can offer support as a peer, I can share based on my own experiences and understanding of things, but I cannot be more than that.

Is this space a crisis service or an emergency service?
Absolutely not. I am not equipped to handle a mental health crisis for pseudo-anonymous people remotely via an online co-op game.
If you are in crisis, you will need to access the local crisis services available to you.
If it is an emergency, you will need to call your country's emergency number.

Is it a secure platform? How do I protect my identity in this game?
The public info on your Steam profile page will be visible to others so I strongly recommend setting your profile page to private and choosing a profile pic and setting the username to something that doesn't identify you and is generic to make it effectively unsearchable (e.g. using a name like Krupskaya or Azerty or Salton Sea). You can also make a burner Steam account for additional privacy if you like.
The platform is not secure (nor is this one that you're on now), so it is not like Matrix/Element. I strongly recommend using a VPN to conceal your IP. I cannot guarantee what the game has on the back end. Treat it a you would the Hexbear Visual Cuisine on cy.tube.
Be very careful about giving out too much info or info that is too specific. You can be vague, you can throw out false info about your situation, and you can simply choose not to divulge info at all.

How many people are permitted in the server at any given time?
There is a maximum of 12 people allowed in the server currently and it is first come, first serve.
I will try and keep an eye on the numbers and in the unlikely event that the server hits 10+ guests then I will invite people to consider whether they are ready to move on in order to allow other people to join.
I may choose to revise these numbers downwards based on the demands for moderation, my PC’s ability to cope with the demands of hosting the server, and to ensure that people in the server get a chance to chat with me.

What's the server's position on ableism?
Ableism targeting another person is strictly forbidden.
The use of ableist slurs and the denigration of people based on ability/disability is strictly forbidden.
Unfortunately our culture and language is deeply ableist. Casual use of ableist language is discouraged but it is not policed; examples of casual ableism are: "Is it dumb to feel this way?". "I feel like I'm stupid for not figuring this out earlier", and "My boss went completely psycho at me".
There are alternative words that can be used however this space recognises that self-expression is fundamental to its functioning and I cannot demand that people change their use of language instantaneously or to treat communication in the server like it's some sort of crossword puzzle they have to solve in order to get their message across.
"You are dumb" is absolutely not permitted. "[x group of marginalised people] are dumb" is absolutely not permitted. "Why do people have to act so dumb just because they see a guy wearing nail polish?" is a tolerated form of casual ableism in the server—although it is not condoned—while creativity and the use of alternative non-ableist terms is encouraged.
You will be able to prompt me to yap about this topic for as long as you care to listen if you happen to ask me about it in the server.

Are you insured for this?
No.
The pleasure is mine but the liability is yours.

Do you offer refunds?
Sure, but it's a free service so it's not worth asking for a refund on that.
Due to the current limitations of the time-space continuum, I will be unable to refund you your time.

Do you wear wigs?

Server Ground Rules:

  • No oppressive speech - no racism, sexism, queerphobia (including transphobia) etc.
  • Be respectful of others - be kind, don't be a jerk.
  • Don't record the server, don't spread the things that another person has said in the server around to others - if you have any concerns or complaints about my conduct or anyone else's then let me know either in the server or on Hexbear so I can address it.
  • Verbal warnings/kicks/bans are up to my discretion - adhere to the first three ground rules, keep the space safe for yourself and others, and you'll be fine.
  • Use of a VPN is strongly encouraged
  • Keep your OpSec practices in mind at all times
  • Consent is fundamental to every part of the server - you are always allowed to say that you don't want to do something or that you don't want to talk about something. Your choice will be upheld in the server.
  • I am not a therapist or a doctor and I cannot be a replacement for them
  • This is a casual peer support space not a crisis or emergency service.
  • There is a maximum of 12 people allowed in the server and it is first come, first serve
  • The server is for people who are 18+
  • Anyone who agrees to these ground rules is welcome to join the server

Hope to see you there!

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[–] SadArtemis@hexbear.net 6 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

Someone (not me lmao) want to start a <18 thread going? A minor probs. I know some peeps were feeling left out (but also more groups is chill/helps everyone in this case).

Whoever does it should probs be far stricter with "no inevitably messy topics" though but hell if I know

[–] ReadFanon@hexbear.net 9 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago) (1 children)

Do you mean like a post for <18s? Or a server?

I had opened up an all-ages server that is just social to play the game in but I'm approaching this slowly and cautiously. I think that it's important to recognise that the site has had a lot of shakeups recently and that the admins are going to be feeling very risk-averse right now, with good reason.

My primary concern for the all-ages server is that it would be very easy to create a new episode of drama for this site in the server. That's the last thing that I want and I know it's the last thing that the site and the admins need right now. I'm not concerned with wrapping up <18 users on this site in cotton wool so much as I am with not wanting the server to be the place where more drama occurs. I know that the admins work hard to filter out the knuckleheads but it would be very easy to stir things up or to cause an incident - my primary concern is that an adult may engage in misconduct of some sort. Hence why I am being quite strict with the rules for the all-ages server.

Ultimately if there is any misconduct then its going to come down on me and quite possibly the admins of this site to deal with and I'd much rather be very clear and heavy-handed about it by putting everyone, particularly the adults, on notice that they are required to keep things age-appropriate. I also thing that it's important that a clear distinction is being made between the peer-support server and the all-ages casual server so that people don't just assumed that it's all one thing. And the moderation tools are very sparse so, all risk assessments aside, if it's a choice between me being stern about expectations for behaviour or having to play referee while watching the chat like a hawk for a few hours then it has to be me being stern about expectations because I would not be able to do the latter in a real-time environment on top of doing the peer support stuff. At which point the choice is pretty obvious because there are plenty of all-ages servers but the whole intent of this project is to provide peer support to mostly the people on Hexbear because that is far, far less common. And there's no reason why people who have made friends on this site can't host their own private servers themselves amongst their friends anyway.

[CW: Brief mention of child abuse ahead]

It's a tricky balancing act because an all-ages peer support server would require stricter moderation and certain topics would have to be out of bounds, thus limiting the discourse and the support available, but then there are ethical obligations with running a space like that for <18s, especially a duty of care and child protection - if a minor discloses that they are either being abused or they are at risk of abuse then that puts me in a very difficult spot because I don't know how to report child abuse to potentially all the different countries that people visit this site from and ultimately the deeper ethical issue there is that if the space is being used for providing support to a minor who is being abused then that risks them not accessing more appropriate services in their region who are able to escalate the issue with their local child protection agency in order to address it. Shit, I can't even refer a minor who is being abused out to an appropriate service in their area because that would require immense amounts of effort to put together.

I can't put my name to that, unfortunately. I am quite limited with personal resources due to my health. I have no organisation behind me so that I can escalate things to a manager or to follow through on reporting to a country that, potentially, I don't even speak the language of. And I'm not about to open myself up to the potential for a scandal around this, let alone the site and the admins.

I completely understand why <18s on this site might feel excluded by all this and I get it. It's just that the degree of risk, the ethical concerns, and generally demand it would place on me would be completely unrealistic and I can't change the circumstances I'm functioning under, I can only work to mitigate the risk. Like I can't even set the space to be for people who are 16+ - I can't do age verification, if I even had the capacity to do that, and so that leaves me with essentially one option. It sucks but that's just how it is.

So that's why the peer support server is 18+ and why there are strict rules that I have imposed on the casual server. Sorry for the long comment, I'm just aware that this topic was something that was going to be raised and I want to make sure that people understand that there are strict age-related rules not out of a paternalistic attitude or an intent to make <18s feel excluded but it's because of a comprehensive assessment of the risks and of the ethical implications. If anyone has a better plan for how to negotiate all of these competing concerns then I'd love to hear it.

[–] SadArtemis@hexbear.net 3 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

No worries, and I fully agree with all you said. As when we talked ingame about it- I wouldn't want to touch it with a 10 foot pole (and I figure you wouldn't either/am not pushing for you to, absolutely).

Was just tossing out the idea since certain people are probably best making their own server/chats for that, I guess. Really don't want to touch it myself and wouldn't expect even the admins here to want to. Basically a "ehh someone (ideally <18), why don't you all chat together" (not me ofc/obvs).

[–] ReadFanon@hexbear.net 6 points 10 hours ago

For sure, it's just the first time that this question has been raised on the site in the comments so uhhhhhh... you win the lucky prize of getting a essay on child protection and risk-assessments in your replies.

Basically a "ehh someone (ideally <18), why don't you all chat together"

I feel like I'm about to do it to you again but here goes - I'm super uncomfortable with making a post on here getting users to openly identify their age or their status as a minor. It just seems very risky for a number of reasons and then if there's gonna be that and an unmoderated server happens then it concerns me that a predator might see that as the perfect opportunity.

I know I must sound like a person who is paranoid about risk but on the other hand - have you seen the internet?? That ratfuck Steve Huffman, of Reddit CEO fame, was a moderator of jailbait and that other CEO came out in defense of ViolentAcrez for being a mod of creepshots. I'm not saying this place is the same but as far as I'm concerned the internet is crawling with creeps.