this post was submitted on 17 Nov 2024
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[–] ryedaft@sh.itjust.works 6 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

Can women message people on Tinder they haven't matched with?

And if this was effective wouldn't it lower all women's Elo scores? Unless he only ignored one group and catfished everybody else. Sounds like a lot of work.

[–] dai@lemmy.world 2 points 1 hour ago* (last edited 1 hour ago) (1 children)

No, only tinder premium can do so IIRC.

Bumble? From memory women can only message first, men must wait to be messaged before they can.

It's been a while since I used those platforms so my information could be incorrect.

[–] BugleFingers@lemmy.world 3 points 53 minutes ago (3 children)

Bumble is moving away from having women message first as apparently it was too much of a burden for the women on that app (According to https://www.npr.org/2024/05/06/1249296671/bumble-dating-apps-women-opening-moves )

Understandable as I find having to generate an opener hard too. Kinda a shame though as the point was to give them a place to have some more control with the interactions.

[–] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 2 points 37 minutes ago (1 children)

Wasn't that the whole point of bumble?

[–] BugleFingers@lemmy.world 1 points 29 minutes ago

Yeah, pretty much haha, otherwise its just tinder. I used it briefly a while back and usually the first message would be "." so that I could start the actual conversation. So I supposed it's never been all that different to begin with

[–] Cethin@lemmy.zip 1 points 30 minutes ago

Yeah, the old Bumble model was better (in my opinion as a man). It creates incentive to have an interesting profile with stuff people can comment on. The newer "opening move" thing incentivizes generic responses. Bumble (in my experience) still has women message first far more often than Tinder though. You may just have to wait and not message immediately.

Creating an opening message is only really difficult if someone has a generic boring profile, so if it's an issue for anyone maybe that's why.

[–] TheBat@lemmy.world 1 points 38 minutes ago