askchapo

Though I have seen a recent change in people's perceptions of what you can say/do in regards to feeling while being masc so that's a positive. We just need to de-brainworm more people.

I found that being in the right situation, being open with one or two other guys about my own fears and distress (this was during covids first days and i just fuggen needed to vent honestly) was usually a catalyst for them to drop the charade as well, talking about their own feelings of helplessness and dread. Once that hurdle was cleared i was the guy they'd come share their worries and the younger ones would bitch to me about the 'bullshit' machismo of the older gen. Course it helps a lot that i present as cishet and look and talk like a tradesman, but my experience is even the crustiest looking steelworkers, rather than embodying the chud alpha ideal, were putting on a brave face just like me.

That experience went a long way towards fixing my own fear of guys (tho i am in fact amab im ace and adhd/aut, so was mentally and physically bullied throughout school until i learned how to mask up and act like a "proper" Midwestern male).

I wish this info was useful, i wish just anyone could try that but i understand my position as a somewhat older well-spoken crackerjack was what really helped me break thru their facade.