this post was submitted on 07 Dec 2024
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askchapo

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Cishet dudes of Hexbear: Do feel that certain gender or sexuality norms are harmful to you personally? If so, what are they and how would you say they affect you? (hexbear.net)
submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by Carcharodonna@hexbear.net to c/askchapo@hexbear.net
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So, back when I was "still cis tho", there were a lot of aspects of male gender norms that bothered me deeply and of course I totally understand why now. Even though these days I obviously have a clear reason for feeling that way, I'm still curious if cishet men also have issues with how norms or expectations around gender and sexuality impact them in a negative way.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on how those norms impact you, whether good or bad.

Also, I should mention that since this is a bit of a sensitive subject we're talking about here, please be thoughtful and sensitive when discussing with others in this thread. Thanks! <3

EDIT: Much thanks for all the great responses here! I know it's a difficult topic of course, so I appreciate you sharing your thoughts/feelings like this.

Speaking of which... I just looked at /c/menby and some of the posts on the front page there are over 2 years old. I see a lot of the discussion here centered around not being able to share feelings and/or not having the spaces or support to do that in. /c/menby seems like the perfect place for that, just sayin'.

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[–] Bureaucrat@hexbear.net 2 points 1 week ago

:yea:
I worked with kids and the adults suck too. They'd separate boys and girls all the time. It was always a woman working in arts and crafts, always a man in sports. Whenever kids had social problems we'd ignore it (if it was a boy) or have a girls meeting (only girls, they talk it out, at 7 years old). The adults would invite kids to join their activities and it was always girls to arts and crafts, boys to sports. Terrible. I remember a few boys, kids I guess they don't have a gender at that age, who obiously hated all the sports shit and were just starving for something creative. Likewise with girls and sports. I did so much to shake that shit up, made hockey leagues where they played across genders (girls beat the shit out of boys, because they'll do that at age 7) and arranged masc-coded arts and crafts things - Campfire tales where they could draw the monsters I was talking about, competitions about making "the biggest drawing", folding paper planes and then painting them "cool". I tried to make them comfortable as well as I could within the system I was stuck in. It was tough.