Ask Lemmy
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OkCupid used to be the best for finding matching people: they crowdsourced thousands of relevant multiple choice questions from which you built your search filter: which answers you accept, how important each is to you, and a voluntary explanation. The questions and match results were factored into friendship, dating, and sex.
Then Match Group bought it. First they let it be, but then they:
Avoid the whole Match Group.
Now that I think of it, the destruction of OkCupid looks like a politically motivated attack against the minorities and intellectual power users who used to flock there.
Oh snap, I met my wife on OKC before these changes. I believe Match had already bought them out but it was before the changes like you mentioned.
I remember it being the superior online matchmaking service at the time.
RIP
Since I started using Lemmy, I've wondered if a federated dating platform could ever work. Obviously you would have to solve the problem of low user numbers though...
Unless it is a dating platform for tech savvy gay/bi men specifically, it would also have to solve the problem of even lower numbers of women who are users. Even non-fed dating platforms struggle to reach a 10:1, men:women ratio of active, non-bot users.
As a woman (just have to phrase it that way), good luck to any who try. Personally, I can't think of anything that would entice me to sign up for a federated dating platform.
You have way more faith in humanity than I do. I think after 1-2 and the novelty wears off, a lot of people would just thumbs up without reading.
And even if people stay diligent in rating first comments, it will take 0.2 seconds for bad actors to realize they can just save their bullshit for message #2.
What do you think about vetting to make a profile, or having a chat that exists for the folks that have matched or spoken with a guy in the past?
Peer vetting? So one has to take on an unpaid part time job to get on the dating platform?
And men vetted by peer men? The ones who are a sampling that will absolutely include some of the toxic online variety we are all trying to avoid?
I simply think initial vetting will never be enough. People aren't dumb, they are able to behave until they have someone alone before showing their true colors. My real skepticism is that any Fediverse platform would have strong controls to identify and actually block bad people. Mainstream dating platforms have processes to deal with stalkers and sexual assaulters, they permanently block people from the platform and contact local law enforcement at times. A federated dating platform would have none of those things, unless they're attached to a major corporation like Threads is to Facebook, which would defeat the purpose.
I don't hate this.
There's an open source one called Alovoa. I haven't tried it yet myself, but it's there.
I know it's on FDroid, though I haven't checked any other app store for it yet