this post was submitted on 09 Feb 2025
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well i've made the experience that people who could be considered "pretty" by social beauty standards are more likely to be mean.
the way i explain it is through the "ideal bonding distance" theory. in chemistry, if you have two atoms forming a molecule, they typically keep a certain distance from one another. In society, something similar is happening. People like to have a certain distance from one another. If it's too big, they'll try to get closer to other people. If it's too close, they try to push other people away. Since "pretty" people make the experience a lot that other people try to come way to close to them (for their own liking), they develop a habit of, in general, pushing people away, thus the mean appearance. People who don't build that habit (because they don't need it), are nicer in general, i would say.
I don't think your analogy really works, its overly complex.
You're basically describing the concept of people being in, or out, of another person's 'league', the idea that social dynamics can become unbalanced when there is a wide disparity in percieved attractiveness between members of a group, or relationship, which is more pronounced the more people judge/evaluate others more heavily by outward appearance.
...but, it is an empircally validated fact that people who are percieved as more beautiful get more leeway in social interactions, have an easier time being hired, are used to receiving more praise, have an easier time manipulating others, have anneasier time making friends, are more likely to be forgiven or punished less for an offense than people who are percieved as unattractive.
Being pretty doesn't just directly cause narcissism at some kind of purely deterministic, genetic level, but the way that society treats prettier people encourages them to become narcissistic.
But also, unattractive people who are narcissistic, manipulative and mean often figure out that prettier people have pretty privelege, and will focus on making themselves appear prettier, so as to have an easier time being narcissistic, manipulative and mean.
There are pretty people who aren't mean, but yes, in general, prettier people are more likely to be mean.
that's what i meant, thanks for formulating it so clearly
so because pretty women get harassed more, you're calling them mean? why is this about the woman's personality and not the jerk you're replying to who creeped her out and put her in the defense? "mean"... she sounds tough to me