this post was submitted on 28 Feb 2025
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The funny part is that there’s very little reason to actually buy a barrel of lube. In porn, they just mix their own lube using distilled water (available cheaply from virtually any grocery or hardware store) and a dissolvable powder. There’s not a good reason to ship wet lube in bulk, because freight shipping is calculated by weight and you’re essentially just paying to ship water. The added benefit is that the porn makers can mix the lube to be a thinner or thicker consistency, depending on their specific needs.
For the curious, look up J-lube, X-lube, K-lube, or Fist Lubricant Powder. And yes, all of the above are available for purchase on Amazon.
And to drive the point home that you’re just paying for freight shipping… J-lube powder is currently $26.77 for 10oz, which makes 10 liters of lube when mixed per the manufacturer’s recommended dosage. So $26.77 for 10 liters, plus probably $3 for the distilled water you need to mix it with. Let’s round up to an even $30 in total. The barrel is currently $1775.32 for 7080fl.oz, or ~209.4 liters. So the barrel is ~$8.47 per liter, while the dry powder mix is ~$3.00 per liter. The barrel is almost 3x as much per liter as the dry powder.
This guy lubricates.
Username checks out.
Gotta respect that math, but value might still be possible.
55 gallons of water weighs about 459lbs (208kg), so that barrel is in that range.
Get 10 friends to chip in and order the barrel. Use those 10 friends to lift and leave that barrel somewhere that is highly visible, like the front porch of an ex-wife or ex-husband. Maybe your local police station if you are from a small town?
If that is worth $1,700 to someone, I can't really say. I have paid more (per pound) for less significant practical jokes before though.
(It would be cheaper to use another barrel, actual water, and just fake the package label though. Real lube would just be for show but it would show that you have great attention to detail.)
Diddy ain't gonna mix up his own lube