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Already planning for how to survive in jail
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this post was submitted on 18 Aug 2023
1366 points (99.1% liked)
Lemmy Shitpost
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Me, who has 13 salamis tucked in his pants: Oh, it's not wrong to steal? Whew. What a relief.
It's fine since you brought them from home
"These are my day-to-day sausages."
Whether you doing it because you're broke, or just love the thrill, remember:
Publix, Kroger's, and Walmart heirs have all donated to neo-Nazi causes so steal from them the most.
All jokes aside.
Please people, do not actually steal from these stores. This is the quickest way to get arrested and end up with a criminal record.
The prosecutor is not going to give a damn what your reasons were for stealing so please keep that in mind.
Things that will also get you a criminal record:
Feeding the homeless
Giving water to voters
Public Assembly
Telling pigs to stop being pigs
Punching Nazis
Hey man, you do you. Who am I to stop you?
I just want to put it out there that even though I get your intent, it’s not necessarily something that will be taken without criticism. I’d rather people not get in trouble for stealing, no matter if you think it’s justified or not.
For people that are in need of food assistance and located in the U.S. you can visit here https://www.fns.usda.gov/snap/state-directory and select the state you’re living in. That should get you started in receiving food assistance and necessities from the government.
Your mom lets you on the internet?
When you move out of that basement you'll find out you don't need permission fam
A shoplifting community was created on lemmy a while ago (!shoplifting@lemmy.ml) and a link was posted on there with some info for those involving themselves in shoplifting.
https://lemmy.ml/post/302763 (use the webarchive link shared among the comments if the original doesn't work)