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Getting Ahead of It: JD Vance Almost Definitely Didn’t Kill the Pope (www.mcsweeneys.net)

submitted 2 days ago by sundray@lemmus.org to c/theonion@midwest.social

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Here’s what we do know: After their meeting ended and Vice President Vance left the room, the pope was still alive. We can deduce that he was alive, because he was heard asking an assistant, “Ho appena incontrato il volto del diavolo?” which roughly translates to, “Have I just encountered the face of the devil?” It’s a very common question that has been asked in many languages after encounters with JD Vance.

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[–] XeroxCool@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Are there any batshit conapiracy theories yet or are we unlucky so far? How much of America actually follows the pope, not being a Catholic Nation? I forget which sects believe in him and which don't. There's gotta be something about the deep state and accepting gay people making him the false prophet though right?

[–] sundray@lemmus.org 5 points 2 days ago

Most Evangelical sects dislike the Catholic church, so IF Couchface got blamed for killing the Pope his supporters would be cheering him on.

[–] barneypiccolo@lemm.ee 1 points 1 day ago

MAGA had the pope killed so they could push for the first American pope, this guy.