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Getting Ahead of It: JD Vance Almost Definitely Didn’t Kill the Pope (www.mcsweeneys.net)

submitted 2 days ago by sundray@lemmus.org to c/theonion@midwest.social

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Here’s what we do know: After their meeting ended and Vice President Vance left the room, the pope was still alive. We can deduce that he was alive, because he was heard asking an assistant, “Ho appena incontrato il volto del diavolo?” which roughly translates to, “Have I just encountered the face of the devil?” It’s a very common question that has been asked in many languages after encounters with JD Vance.

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[–] barneypiccolo@lemm.ee 5 points 2 days ago

C'mon, Vance didn't kill him, he's far too stupid. Did you see him drop Ohio State's trophy last week? He'd fuck up a hit for sure. Probably put the Iocane Powder in his own tea.

Obviously, someone from his entourage was tasked to do it.