this post was submitted on 24 Apr 2025
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So, a while ago it came out that my uncle(who's from outside the family and married in) cheated on my aunt (mom's sister).

They're still married. Honestly not sure what they'll do since he is the one with the job and our family doesn't have enough to support her and her children.

But I just don't get it. I get falling out of love or even finding other people besides your spouse attractive, but cheating is just such a layered lasagna of shit.

1.You want to eat your cake and have it too. (There's an entire community of people who cheat on their spouses called "cake eaters."). I don't understand what you get out of that though unless you're just really lustful (and even I wouldn't do that and I'm a lustful removed). If you want to break up/divorce that's fine but you can't just have emotional/physical relationships without changing anything. Which leads to point 2

2.How little fucking respect do you have for your wife and family? Because the thing is that youre denying your partner any autonomy in the relationship. You dont even respect them enough to even talk about it, or you don't respect them enough to think they deserve to know about it or will ever find out.

I mean look, there been some stories I've heard where I understand, if the relationship is already dead. It still sucks but I can understand if it's inevitable anyway. But otherwise i just can't conceptualize how selfish and shit you have to be to do it.

And I wouldn't ask if it wasn't so common. I mean it doesn't happen in every relationship but it's so common basically everyone is paranoid their partner is cheating on them. So I just really don't get it

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[–] ghost_of_faso3@lemmygrad.ml 11 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Im inclined to agree, so many behaviors are attributed to autism when id say its more just people with good moral compasses and who have empathy enough to consider how actions affect others.

Of course, people with autism may be inclined that way, i've also met complete reactionary fash who are autistic, its a bit tokenizing.

[–] Xiisadaddy@lemmygrad.ml 7 points 18 hours ago

Morality is learned. Fascists do not see themselves as the villains. In their eyes what they are doing is justified, and moral. Even Hitler would have seen himself as the good guy. Saying someone has a strong morality is not saying they strongly allign with your moral compass. It's saying they more strictly follow their own moral compass. This is why fascists spend so much time dehumanizing the people they commit violence against. They don't see it as morally wrong to kill those people because they have convinced themselves, or someone else has convinced them, that those people are inhuman. That its actually a good thing all the violence thats happening.

You can read studies on the differences in neurodivergent morality. https://www.jneurosci.org/content/41/8/1699 I'm not tokenizing i am nuerodivergent myself. This is a, while maybe not fully understood, pretty widely observed behavior difference.