It seems like the only logical option. If someone paid me to come up with a solution to having poopy butt I couldn't come up with a better one than a hose or a bidet. You know what I wouldn't do? I WOULDN'T INVENT PAPER YOU COULD RUB ON YOUR BUTT.
Like every person that has tried a bidet on the internet describes their experience as being reborn. Anyone that tries it instantly becomes a shill for big bidet. I have not seen a single negative review for a bidet aside from maybe water shooting up your back which is more of a skill issue with aiming.
There is some debate to be had between using a bidet versus using a hose. With bidet there's no hand contact but you can't control where the water goes. Im personally more in favor of hose since you still gotta flush and handle the bathroom door so there's gonna be contact either way, but using water is CLEARLY superior to toilet paper.
Water is cheaper and guess what? IT USES LESS CLEAN WATER THAN MAKING TOILET PAPER. That's right making a single tissue of TP uses more water than just simply washing your butt. You can also shower less frequently because you don't constantly smell like shit. We are deforesting jungles just to turn them into butt napkins that do not even clean us properly, they just smear the shit all over the crack and make us smell like poop.
Also without TP there's no longer an issue with assholes flushing their used TP down the toilet and clogging the pipes, houses will no longer get TP'ed, the pandemic scalping situation wouldn't have happened etc etc. So why are people still hellbent on using this inferior method?
A dumb sideline- question from a country where shower heads are always hand held.
I visited AmeriKKKa once and the one thing that was different was the showers and tubs. The places I went had showers you can't detach from above and only shallow tubs. I assume one is to sit around in the dirty water and that supposedly is "showering" and I thought it to be odd. I could not properly wash my nether regions or even armpits that way because am used to pointing the water upwards with the shower in my hand.
Tubs have disappeared from around here long ago due to how much water they consume and when we did bathing, we would always shower and wash first and then do the bath as a form of relaxation/pampering.
The undetachable showerhead made especially rinsing properly somehow impossible for me. Always felt like there at least might be some soap left in my bits. Tried to bend over and stuff to get the clean water into all places, but felt a bit icky still. The water pressure also seemed to be very low which made it worse.
I really don't think you can get your ass properly washed like this either. Are the showers in the US still like this or was this a regional thing?