Not The Onion

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Trump announced Alcatraz reopening hours after ‘Escape from Alcatraz’ aired on PBS (www.independent.co.uk)

submitted 14 hours ago by fossilesque@mander.xyz to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

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[–] ijedi1234@sh.itjust.works 2 points 9 hours ago

"I am hereby placing a 100% TARIFF on transport fees for any Q visiting from the Q Continuum. As you know, one of them turned me literally orange, 'as a joke'. If this dangerous criminal is found in Federation space again, I have given out orders to immediately apprehend the Q responsible and hold him in Alcatraz Prison. The Q will then be ransomed back to the bloodthirsty murderers of the Q Continuum."